I
make love to me on soft grass
still wet with morning dew
let me feel the trembling
of your fingertips
as they reach out to touch
and trail across my cheek
II
in the heat of the day
will you lay beside me
whispering words of love
and counting storm clouds
as we wait for lightning
to flash across the sky
III
late in the afternoon
when night is drawing in
pull me close and kiss me
in that way you always do
awakening the fire that burns
within my eyes for you
IV
I can feel your heart
beating next to mine
when I wake in the night
still cradled in your arms
your peaceful sighs a lullaby
that sing me back to sleep
Author notes
Prompt:- Adoring a beloved in very close moments is the eternal pleasure...Unknown.
I went to 24 lines, I hope this is acceptable.
A contest entry
- the eternal pleasure... by PrabhuDayal Khattar.
400 points, ended November 13, 2008, 13 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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Well, it seems I missed this one somehow but nonetheless it's breathtaking.
Love,
Michael.
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Thank you...
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*melts into a puddle of shmoosh* sigh.. this is tenderness at it's best
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Thank you for your lovely comment Stacy. Shmoosh is good I'm a romantic at heart and I love the gooey marshmallow feeling you get when you read something warm and romantic.
Love Margaret
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lovely very amoral and simple love..what could any heart need more xx
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Very nice imagery!
''night is drawing in'' - and
''fire that burns
within my eyes for you'' -
It's just perfect.
In the 1st part have broken a rhythm a little
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". . .whispering words of love
and counting storm clouds
as we wait for lightning
to flash across the sky"
Beautiful metaphor. Lovely write overall.
Congratulations,
~Mary O
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Purely a sweet tqsk you did my friend while whispering the words of love through your impressive poetry here..well done...
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Such a soft and beautiful piece about love and all it offers to the soul.
Just lovely in everyway!
All my best to you in the contest!
Linda
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This is warm and beautiful.
This is my kind of poetry.
Sweet loving, soft and gentle.
I enjoyed this so much.
Good luck in the contest.
Juustgot2loveme
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Margaret you write stunning poetry
wish i could write like you
xxx one from Gwen xxx
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how did I miss this?? What a beautiful write hun! Just the kind of romance we'd all love in our lives!!
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Wonderful
This is wonderful Maggie
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Thank you Aaron
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I can see why you had problems sleeping... hehe with this going through your mind I would not be able to sleep either...
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margaret ~ beauty and passion in four simple parts that linger on like the aftertaste of a blissful wine. Nicely done, and thank you for sharing this masterful spill of ink.
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When I awake at night, your peacefull sighs lull me into a lullaby! Very impressive write. Nice departure from your norm. Soft & romantic ~Sie
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Beautiful !
Your words always paint a picture in my mind sis Great imagery uses as usual
The background is so pretty
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Thank you sis
I couldn't sleep last night and figured I'd work on some lines I'd started during the day and this was where my thoughts led me.
I like the b/g as well. It's one of the standard tiled backgrounds...they're much better than some of the originals, aren't they?
Love you
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