breathing: check
I'm alive
Despair
What's next
Inescapable
I'm alive
Possibility
to change
Inevitability
I'm alive.
Hope
to see
Tomorrow
I'm alive
Question,
To be?
Answered.
I'm alive,
to live.
Author notes
30 words...not sure if i like the opening two but it fit to get me to the thirty words. it began as just a single verse in my notebook as i awaited another class that i hadn't had time to read for...
A contest entry
- Quickie: 30 words only by Rizzie.
370 points, ended September 24, 2008, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
I took your time, now let me have your thoughts....
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
-
different
I like the way it rambles along. I have felt this way at times. Good job, The Shaker
-
Hi
Interesting one this. Reminds me of the 'chatter' that goes on in one's mind even when you're not thinking about that subject. Great. Made me think.
-
very interesting write. I think everything that can be said has been so I'll just say
-
I like the sentiments/philosophy expressed here. The repetition seems to work but the addition of "breathing: check" may be a little "forced". You have fully punctuated the final stanza yet, it seems to me, that punctuation and a firmer adjustment of starting capitals would advantage the whole.
-
-
i agree, those first two words were used to help me hit the 30 words for the contest. and i will look into some ways to fix the capitals and add punctuation. never my strong points
-
-
This is an interesting question you have here. And it's very well written. Good job.
-
-
thanks
-
-
very nice poem. thanks for enterng
-
-
thanks for the contest
-
-
I like this and the staggered format. What you are saying as merit, too.
-
-
thanks, its kind of the direction iv begun to slip over the last few years philosophically. its a definite transition from a few years back when i saw life as expendable and the next part whatever it be preferable.
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 11 of 11
