It was raining that evening when he comes back home from work. He opens the front door of his apartment building and checks the mailbox. The first thing he sees is a green envelope in familiar handwriting, a script that many times decorated his bathroom mirror and refrigerator door on post-it notes.
Nervously, he picks up the letter, thinking about the words he wrote the week before. A letter, the result of much thought, but hastily written, hurriedly thrown in a mail box, where it could reach its destination before he could change his mind.
He can barely remember the full content of his letter, but he still recalled the dates, the name he wrote at the top and the unconsidered thoughts he left forever marked on that piece of white paper.
With the letter in his hand, he walks into his apartment, takes off his wet coat and shoes. He puts his briefcase on the coffee table, along with the green envelope. "Time for a coffee" he says, and remembers how much she loves the aroma of fresh coffee but hates its taste; "what a weird woman", he utters to himself, his words are followed by an almost sad smile.
He sits at the table, holding the warm cup and stares at the reply of his one-week-old action.
Slowly, his fingers slide over her handwriting..."Maybe she understood and forgave me once more", he wonders, his words coming as a whisper, as a wish.
After one minute that seemed more like an hour, he finally decides to opens it, his hand slightly shaking as he reads the first few lines, knowing now what his rash, unthoughtful behaviour had caused.
Suddenly, the coffee tasted more bitter than usual.
Author notes
Been a while since I wrote a story, be gentle 
Guys will always defend guys...
http://allpoetry.com/poem/4625247
A contest entry
- Fiction On AllPoetry? Call Me Rebel! by Yemassee.
875 points, ended October 3, 2008, 11 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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well done . . congrats on the silver !!
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This was awesome. I had to come read this because of Yemassee's write (the sequel) which I happened to stumble upon first. This is a fantastic write. You did a great job on the ending, leaving the reader wondering (barring the instance that they read the sequel first) what the heck the letter said.
Great job.
Write on.
~*~SP~*~
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In this age of email and instant messages the writing of letters may be a dying art but can bring intense anxiety or pleasure depending on the content. In this one you give the reader a very personal peek into a pivotal moment in time for this couple. Hopefully, for me, there will be a happy ending but that's just the way I am. Good luck in the contest.
Sincerely,
Leo Long
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I hate open endings
I can think too much possibilities to fit in them and I don't like that, lol...
Although I could imagine what direction it's heading at, it's still an open ending.
Good story though, one should make a short movie out of it
Anyway, one little oopsie I found: last but fourth line -> 'opens' should be 'open' I think
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excellent
Okdokie
Me thinks this guy won't like what he has found in the letter
Another great one sis.....
Hubby home have to get off now........no peace when he home yak yak yak
Best of luck in the contest
Hugs
Susan~~~
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Oh a Ms Lady story. What a treat. Thank you. He won't like what he reads, it's just as well he can live on coffee.
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I love how you write this in a man's character...and I could smile at the detail when he said, "what a weird woman"
Letters are very amusing...I think it's almost a lost art writing it in paper...I used to write letters to friends in stationeries...and I still have my collections up to now since I was in gradeschool...[although Zadee found these treasures and crumpling them one by one] yay
Now, in these e mail days...I don't know how to write one anymore...lol.
Yeah...it's a great idea that both of you write together...there are certain things that you argue about which both of you look amusing...but then agree with certain things...
the he said; she said goes along very well with both of you...Sir Yem...
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One should never send the letter just after it was written, but then they shouldn't make us write those letter!!. This piece held my attention right until the bitter taste at the end. It's been a while since i posted something (well, i did post a little poemy today, lol). You should write more of this, Mari.
~ Nicolette
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I am giving you the same comment I gave yem...don't want to cause any friction between the two of you, especially after he consummed all that coffee..so here goes...
You two should get together and write a full novel..it would be tintilating, scathing, and a very fun read...Kudos to you both...
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Despite my humorous attempt at a sequel, I admire this story quite a bit.
It's a green envelope, notice that, yes, I know, you ought to, you wrote it.
Here is what I like:
Paragraph one: That you show the reader the connection between the two simply by mentioning the post it notes, etc.
Paragraph two: Since readers aren't aware that there was a prequel to this story, you acquaint them of the basics, so that they don't need to know that original story.
Paragraph four: It's interesting that he calls her "weird." I wonder if that is a little hint as to his personality. He seems prone to rash statements (the letter) and now this comment, just because she doesn't like coffee...a hint that he maybe isn't as tractable as he could be.
Paragraph five: He is hoping beyond hope it seems, therefore the whisper, the wish...I am thinking a stronger word needs to go there...something to better show that his hope is a small one.
The last line is quite good...closing the story with the bitter taste...a reference to the coffee she disliked, and of course his own new-found bitter taste.
As you can see, I like this story.
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Can't believe he really thought about forgiveness- fool. Though "rash & unthoughtful" have never been a prerequisite for a good thrashing... Nice!
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Please go on......?
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I missed this contest... fiction, how nice...I like this story, has a lot in a few short paragraphs; quite a mood set here too... and yes, i think we all have those moments when we have to look at the letter we would rather not open... wonderful story...h
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Haste...yes...don't we all throw words out, and like a letter, they are sent, sometimes causing worse than before, hopefully better, though..lol... I felt the uneasiness of him about to read the reply - this totally drew me in.
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Thanks schatje! Now we use backspace, electronic mails keep us from being too hasty
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Tangible emotion here in these lines. Much anticipation and anxiety. I had to laugh about what you said about the coffee. I feel the same way... love the way it smells, but think it tastes disgusting. Since this chick agrees with me, I must be right, LOL! But seriously, I love how you used the taste of the coffee at the end to answer all the questions. Much said, without saying. Nicely done.
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Thanks for the comment and for catching all the bloopers
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The apprehension, the tension,
afraid to open, the trembling,
all done so well. We were looking
over his shoulder...
M-C
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Thanks M-C, and yes I was waiting (and hoping) to read taht she was telling him to take a hike.
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