You can get to a place
where you are so still for so long
and you know every sound,
every change.
In that spot.
the rythm of the whole thing
is like a clock.
And you can figure out,that the clock
is pacing you.
Thats not true stillness.
True stillness would start slowing
down the clock.
Dragging all of the changes to a
stop.
Awaiting the will of the starter,
stopper,and changer.
At that level of stillness
all of everything lays
open before them,
like a nympho-maniac.
Then its all moving,
with it,and coaxing it.
To get what you want from the
starting,stopping and occasionally
diving into the deeper than usual
collisions with effects.
It just seems like the thing to do.
I mean what else,right?
Be more still
and get what you want.
Nature just might be a horny blood drinker.
So don't hurt lions and cats,
It makes the panda sad.
A contest entry
- seduce my mind by Immortal Obscurity.
300 points, ended October 7, 2008, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
You have a different sense than most. I have read a few of your works. Interesting to say the least. I did end up confused here and there, but had a fun time reading them. It makes the panda sad...? I enjoyed the little ditty on your page as well.
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This is an odd piece of literature, and I don't quite know what to make of it. You also succeeded at confusing me terribly, to the point that I don't know what your subject-matter is.
You need to pick a theme and stick with it; it seems to be but a jumbled bunch of thoughts that could do with some sorting. The middle was okay, but by the end, I was wracking my brains trying to decipher this nonsense. The ending had nothing to do with the poem, and it just seems to be a bit scrambled.
On top of that, I did specifically ask for no erotica.
Better luck next time; if you ever need any help with editing, let me know.
Laura, aka Immortal
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