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Coming In the Fall

 

It yet remains to see

if you were coming in the fall,

He kindly stopped for me.

 

With him is where I want to be,

and I know he hears my call,

it yet remains to see.

 

Our hearts together we sent free,

as fate was to be our downfall,

He kindly stopped for me.

 

Time filled with love for thee,

he was my everything, my all,

it yet remains to see.

 

Souls entwined for eternity,

loneliness now I can recall,

He kindly stopped for me.

 

Spirits filled with immortality,

while waiting for deaths withdrawal.

It yet remains to see,

He kindly stopped for me.

 

 

 

Author notes

"for Him as always"

Great Old Poet Collaborator - Emily Dickinson

It yet remains to see
http://oldpoetry.com/opoem/548-Emily-Dickinson-My-life-closed-twice-before-its-close-

If you were coming in the fall
http://oldpoetry.com/opoem/537-Emily-Dickinson-If-you-were-coming-in-the-fall-

He kindly stopped for me
http://oldpoetry.com/opoem/498-Emily-Dickinson-The-Chariot


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Comments

1 - 20 of 20

  • CitrineSunrise silver member
    September 30, 2008

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    The Chariot is one of my favorite short poems, and I was pleased to see it included in this collaboration contest. I enjoyed how you changed the meaning from a personification of death to a loved one. Dickinson's work has a wistful quality that you have duplicated here. Good luck in this contest. Peace, Liz


    • freespirit51
      September 30, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      CitrineSunrise

      Glad to see you enjoyed it. I heard the poem The Chariot recited once but never know who wrote it. I came by it purely by chance in about my 6th hour of searching for a poet. I knew then Emily was the one for me. Thanks again.


  • malmadre gold member
    September 29, 2008

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    This carries a sad mood throughout, and I am drawn to those poems of sadness, such as Emily wrote. A fine collaboration!


    • freespirit51
      September 29, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      malmadre

      Thanks for your generous comment. I hope it touched you in some small way.


  • going nowhere
    September 29, 2008

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    i choked up as i read this... the feel of someone waiting and stopping for me... the one who is everything, is just... beautiful.


    • freespirit51
      September 29, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      going nowhere

      Thanks so much for your very kind words. I am glad it touched you.


  • Sunkissed xo
    September 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is beautiful. A highly emotive and poignant poem, that moves my heart. Its gentle, sweet flow is lovely, and the background you have chosen fits the poem nicely. Well done on an exquisite write

    Best wishes and blessings always,
    Katie


    • freespirit51
      September 27, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Summer Moon

      Thanks for your kind comment. I am so glad you enjoyed it. I did find this one to be a real challenge.


  • princessleejwctlvr2
    September 24, 2008

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    Ahh!! This is so sweet!! I really love sentimental poems!! This is so loving and beautiful!! You did a really great job with the details and descriptions here!! This is amazing!! Excellent job!! I LOVE IT!!


    • freespirit51
      September 24, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Jewelcat55

      Thanks for your very kind words. So glad you found it to your satisfaction. I enjoyed the challenge.


  • grannyeri gold member
    September 24, 2008

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    What a challenge you have met head on here - writing with the great Emily Dickinson. Great way of using these three poems and writing something that is so easy to read and understand. Liked the form and the sentiments expressed so well in these lines.

    • freespirit51
      September 24, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      grannyeri

      Thanks for your wonderful words. So glad you enjoyed this piece. I spent over 6 hours just trying to find the right poet and right poems to work with. Glad you found it to your liking.


  • Whispering Wind Moderators member
    September 24, 2008

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    BREATH TAKING

    My sweet LittleWind your beautiful words do tug at my hearts strings...He kindly stopped for me like a soft sweet love song made just for the heart...winner wrote all over it


    • freespirit51
      September 24, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Tender wolf

      Thanks dear sister for your kind and loving words. You know they mean so much to me.


  • Symphony
    September 24, 2008

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    Whoa; this was AMAZING! Am a fan of Emily Dickinson also, and you more than did her works justice here!

    bravo, and best wishes in the contest


    • freespirit51
      September 24, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Symphony

      thanks so much and glad you enjoy Emily as well. I always enjoyed her piece titled "The Chariot"

  • Climbing2nothing
    September 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    With him is where I want to be,
    and I know he hears my call,
    it yet remains to see.

    I'm not sure if i understood this poem but is this talking of both a love found accepted maybe even compromised for and a love lost? alike the excuse 'he kindly stopped for me' is replayed for guilt and pleasure alike some invisible tie between moments where the character could have gone to different lifes and beds.... and so i got a strong feeling of sorrow from this, anyheys a very well written piece...

    w strawberries and lemonade
    -jas

    • freespirit51
      September 24, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Climbing2nothing

      Thanks so much for your kind words. Yes you pretty much got the idea love found, comprimised and lost. Here "He kindly stopped fo r me" has several meanings, each within it's own stanza..Glad you enjoyed.


  • Peteskid gold member
    September 23, 2008

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    So familiar this voice of Dickinson and the poetic voices in collaboration blend so very well; the tone, tempo word choices all blend and flow effortlessly. The refrains build nicely to the final couplet and the mystery of life told there. I like this villanelle a lot, a thoughtful mixing of poetry and times here. Thank you for this fine entry into the contest and best of luck in the judging...PK


    • freespirit51
      September 23, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Peteskid

      Thanks so much for your terrific comment. I am so glad you enjoyed it. I almost gave up on it.

1 - 20 of 20