you came, drifting, grinding, through vapors
the nude, rave drug
buried by your tongue and throat
the shots in my stomach
the kiss from blue-sky-blond,
hemp Goddess in her jewels, in my lungs
an uproar of paranoia burst like an absorbing, vibrant mushroom cloud through my maroon, cherry veins. I was enslaved by some sense of anxiety: I didn't belong here. I would be caught, sent to the monster's ball, the executioner in night-hood, the electric chair against my spine: the nerves sizzling.
you came,
I lay below trembling thoughts
I lay low, driven by an eerie sense to give in
you came, to suck the bone marrow
through heat of mouth
with the frenzy of hands and lips and animal passion, you set out to voyage through my valleys and fur to conquer me.
it just happened.
with no explanation.
or thought,
or untamed desire-
there was no fire.
only the greed
drunken, stoned bastards obtain.
I could have cared less for your science, or lack there of. my teeth set you ablaze and your hands, without the grace of a gentlemen in oyster gloves, burrowed between my legs like a snake or rabbit (wearing a coat and chasing after the watch) to the warmth of a bonfire set in the stark wilderness.
I didn't belong here:
under you.
I believe, dear sir, there is no such thing as 'love making.' so stop your kissing.
you, you, you came,
now what a stupid thing you are
in the other room, they came to lay bare-assed, and make love in curtains of skin and romance and the pulse of rose-pink hearts. we locked their door, those bastards, making love.
there I was: loveless, dragging on the edge of a cigarette
without you, I laid in the bed
of a pick-up truck, talking with other boys
who I wouldn't touch but talked touching
"why should there be summers full of armored ardor?
I just want a girl who blows like a champion."
now what a stupid thing you are
Author notes
For contest: platinum stitches
Options 1+3+4+5
I know the whole thing isn't prose (or about drugs) but it's mixed in there.
Second Contest: Option 2
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Just a reminiscence about the middle portion of the shittiest summer ever seen in the history of summers. The middle was okay, it was the beginning and end that spiraled.
Fact: I've never 'made love' before. Only got my sex on (my groove on.) Isn't that sad?
now what a stupid thing I am.
A contest entry
- [Gorgeous Vocabulary ♥] by whiterabbit..
400 points, ended October 29, 2008, 29 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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damn.
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this is so...you.
this style you have going on in this poem is so beautiful. I love it. It's like a poem story. You should write some of your stories like this (I still want you to publish Candy. I'd buy it.)
It's so amazing. It's like speaking but poetry at the same time. It's like a story but you have to speak it to see the lyrical sense. I just basked in it.
It filled me up
*hugs*
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I love this. The way you write is just gorgeous. The descriptions that you use are perfect. I love the way that the emotions come out so vividly. I can really feel and relate to them. Amazing write and thanks so much for entering.
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A bit long for my taste, but your use of words kept me focused. the way you write, or the layout of your piece, was very interesting. i dig it :]
thanks so much for entering <3 -
This is a wonderful piece. I especially like the way you described sex versus the next room, in which there was love-making. You captured perfectly the feeling of being on the outside looking in.
Your talent at writing really shines in this poem, especially in the way that you describe a semi-consensual or even non-consensual sexual encounter without once using any overt words such as rape or violation. It makes the image more chillingly potent.
It's not sad that you've never made love before. It's a tangled thorny thing to make love. So much trust involved... The first time I ever made love was last Thursday night, to my boyfriend of ten months and ten days, whom I have loved for eight and a half months, whom I have been in love with for approximately seven months. It was not the best orgasm I've ever had, but it was the best sex ever. -
"I believe, dear sir, there is no such thing as 'love making.' so stop your kissing."
This is just engrossing writing, Kendal. I am blown away, (no pun intended.) Keep it up - you are a true talent, my dear.
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gawd that was an amazing poem
jeez.
human actions and emotions are so ridiculous
u think after high school they'd just stop eh?
anywayz nice to read ur stuff i havent written in forever... ill try soon though
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you vocabulary is beautiful it really ranges so far as i can see from your other pieces and you use it so well. i loved the second verse/paragraph everything in that was just so perfect and just sent a shock through my veins, it's so gorgeous.
'with the frenzy of hands and lips and animal passion, you set out to voyage through my valleys and fur to conquer me.'
this is just beyond anything.
this whole piece is so strong and violent and full of resentment and i love it. you really use your words well to allow your reader to really feel and breathe that situation. i'm bookmarking this, because i truely believe that this is special and so are you, so don't think you're stupid <33
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"an uproar of paranoia burst like an absorbing, vibrant mushroom cloud through my maroon, cherry veins. I was enslaved by some sense of anxiety: I didn't belong here. I would be caught, sent to the monster's ball, the executioner in night-hood, the electric chair against my spine: the nerves sizzling."
you are not a stupid thing at all.
you are beautiful and ily =)
♥
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I've never made love either dear; just dreamed about it and hoped that one day it will happen.
This brought back a lot of memories and was so breath taking. Sex is all it will ever be. Maybe there is no love making to be sought. Maybe its just a myth people hold tight in the ripped denim pocket of their hearts.
Amazing write love this blew me away and inspired me to write
Your not stupid; just human
Jordanne
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