Today was the last day of forever,
you walked away, my dreams left
too. They were sewn into your heart.
You kissed my cheek so softly,
and said you were sorry.
How can I let you go,
when pieces of my heart are stitched in knots
within your soul? It hurts.
The sun shines down, her warm fingers
stroking the void that's left
by your untimely departure,
such futility. My hopes cry out
salvation from the agony
seems too far for me to find.
Trapped in hollow silence
I sit here oblivious to watchful eyes
that have always been there.
A gentle breeze whispers in my mind
"I know you're dying,
but stand up for me. Keep walking
into tomorrow, I'll be there
waiting."
Tears come, unrelenting
their sorrows washing my face
soothing balm to a fragile shell.
I raise my face to the glorious sun
and she takes my pain by
increments. A sweet smile upon her visage,
and my heart begins to beat again,
not whole, but healing.
A contest entry
- Study in Black and White III by JinSays.
850 points, ended September 26, 2008, 2 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Feel free to be as critical (or not) as you like...
Comments
-
Luck,
your words tear at the soul, raking cross the heart of another. You paint a picture of desolation but not total destruction.
Your mind's eye has once more captured the beauty of poetic lines and established it as a standard.
Well Done My Friend!
-
I raise my face to the glorious sun
and she takes my pain by
increments. A sweet smile upon her visage,
and my heart begins to beat again,
not whole, but healing.
Sad sad sad. Fitting, and beautiful. The end did it for me, that ending line being echoed from title was a nice touch. Rreally nice.
Thank you for your entry, and best wishes,
jin
-
Comming out of the void of emotional needs abandoned, the chest slowly swells with guarded hope of a kinder future. A very touching poem. This plucked at the wellsprings of my soul.
-
Sorrow
I find this a very touching write. Often the partner goes unattented in such tragic times. Your way of saying.. I am healing is sadly beautiful. A truly gentle write poet.
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