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the bed

line-of-sight from my pillow to the bedroom door

the left bedknob was a dull sun (the right a moon

 pitted with meteor-strikes and black-sea’d age)

I would brace my milk teeth there to loosen them

and roll my tongue in its sharp and yellow taste

 

before my breath had misted the surface to matt

I would squint at the big reflection of my eye

thinking it’s an iris-monster from another planet

and searching the limits of my alien bedroom

bent and far and shining in its weird convexity

 

then one day I thought I was no longer a kid

and turned languid in the early evening shadow

I hung my first black brassiere catty-cornered

by the strap and pretended I was oh so French

 

 

Author notes

as if it wasn’t obvious – brass bed and black bra

In a list

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 20 of 20

  • Ceridwens Soul silver member
    October 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I love the childhood fantasy of this piece, imagination at its most vibrant... a love piece of inspirational work

    Jem x


  • ZachP silver member
    October 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Read this poem more than once!!

    On the first read-through, I was blown away by some of the images you painted, but it was only the second or third time that I read that I was blown away by the power of your words

    Well, well, well written,
    and congratulations on that well-deserved gold.

    --Zach


  • knitonepearlone
    October 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    So pleased I clicked on this one. What a brilliant write which takes us through stages of your childhood to adolescence in a most original way. Deserving of a few reads and indeed the gold. Well done !!!


  • Cup-a-Joe
    October 5, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This deserves more than one read. It's that good.
    Congrad's on the gold.
    Joe


  • tomisb
    October 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This visit from childhood play with its dreams and cream of innocence. Experience so often curdles. Then you, in a phrase, leave us hanging in the feather-weight power of the haunting sexuality of adolescence. Stunning ballet of words. Bravo!!!

    Peace & Light,
    Tom B.


  • andywontdie silver member
    October 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Honestly the first time i read through i must have been half asleep cause this did not have half the impact it did just now. Wow, I totally agree with lane, the last line could just stand alone and win all by itself. Your brillance is recognized and not just by the gold trophy...congrats!!!


  • Dalaney gold member
    October 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    "then one day I thought I was no longer a kid
    and turned languid in the early evening shadow
    I hung my first black brassiere catty-cornered
    by the strap and pretended I was oh so French..."

    right to the heart. mairi, i, too, am running out
    of accolades...you simply mesmerize me. Love, Lane


  • Pure Thought silver member
    September 25, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Your challenge well met.


  • moon2u
    September 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Well I continue to enjoy the creations
    of your entertaining imagination.
    another wonderful piece
    hugs Moony


  • cricketjeff gold member
    September 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply


    Somehow, this sounds so completely likely I'm not at all sure it counts as poetry

    However I shall give you the benefit of the doubt and pretend it is your brilliance not luck that causes you to hit the target time after time after time.

    On the assumption that this unlikely scenario is indeed the case I shall say
    Not Bad
    Not Half Bad
    Not Half Bat At All









    Good in fact




1 - 20 of 20