Life's a walk
to watch your own casket lowering
on the way some people walk for change
some travel for shame
others run for fame
but all crossroads end the same
That's why i envy those who fly,
basking in a blue sky
I wonder why it seems to raise,
farther and farther above me
outta reach like a life i no longer keep
exclusive for the reason i still seek
I fain a victim
but not for the reasons so meak
for the humanity i wish to keep
cause i had a epiphany of sorts
stregth isn't a key to seek
but a reason to be weak
you can topple any wall
crush any boundry
just to relize
your a walk closer to your defeat
fix my spelling!! please and any major grammer issues to
Comments
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This very highly suggests that you did in fact have an epiphany of sorts. It's not depressing, but not very uplifting either. It's like just taking basic thought and putting it on paper.
FREEWRITING!!!
I told you it wasn't a bad thing!
I especially like the line "stregth isn't a key to seek
but a reason to be weak"
VERY powerful.
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Interesting use of rhyme, perhaps overly simple at first glance but the simplicity I think is part of the charm. This is one of the rare times I think it works well without punctuation. Good use of enjambment. If you truly enjoy form poetry, check out Arkbear and his contests. He will challenge you but also offer good critiques and help. You have a gift and potential. Here is a path to develop it. Another is to read poets. Lots of poets. you will find there are as many styles and forms and ways as people. You will perhaps discover what you like and then take it and use it. Bach says, "Artisans borrow. Greatness steals."
Nicamor Parra says, "The poets job is this: to improve upon the blank page. I doubt if it is possible."
Peace & Light,
Tom B.
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