I dress in blue
and long for the sky.
Walk, weary feet,
to the end
where it begins.
Escape is so intangible
yet I taste it's nectar
on the wind.
A summer-addict sigh
of the girl stuck
in winter.
Spring dissolves
before me into
gossamer confusion.
Could you tell me
that your love
equals mine,
pulse-snatcher?
Could you say
that your arms
will always hold me,
beat-stealer?
But nothing stretches
to the vastness
of this abyss;
only ehcoes 'round
the edges,
grass blade teases
of unfulfilment.
Bangles circle my wrist;
shackles of hope,
they jingle-jangle
down the street
with weary feet
and blue dress.
Indigo go go
dreams
of freedom.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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A very beautiful poem, the only problem I could find was a typo on the word echoes... but other than that, a flawless piece of 'descriptive verse'
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Wow! I really like this, and the way you have set it up lends to the power of the message. You have used some great imagery in this poem. Great job, and I enjoyed the read very much. Thanks for sharing it. Blessings, Patty
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wabba rude comment,
i really enjoyed it
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Haha yeah I know! Pathetic eh? Nice to get a positive comment! Thanks
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I hate descritptive verse. It's like looking at soemone else's photo album. To be meaningful you have to have a theme. What is the reader supoosed to take away from this? Or don't you even think about the reader?
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Newbie? It Shows
Descriptive verse? Uh, you mean POETRY? Poetry is descriptive verse. Oh so you have failed to find any theme in this poem? Hmmm maybe the title 'Freedom' wasn't obvious enough for you. Oh yeah, and poems are personal expressions. I don't write poetry thinking about what the reader will like, I do it for release. If you don't like it you could at least offer constructive criticism. Cheers.
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