I remain; Undead.
Pictures hung high fade in release,
Marble stones marking dust beneath
Grow soft and give in,
Yet I remain.
Creatures of the Night,
We howl and paw, fly and bite,
A mist consuming the virgin's nightmare,
Drawing near so wrongly, but so naturally.
They come and go.
Floating translucently amidst spiders' webs,
Through beliefs and warm skin,
I revel in the twisting tension
Building,
Gorging deeply on the grave's wine.
Yet through all the blood, I remain
Undead; always watching from darkened halls,
Filing among graves in the Moon's retreat.
Author notes
Please don't hold back on ripping this apart.
A contest entry
- For The Vampire Lovers! by VampyreAnna.
400 points, ended September 27, 2008, 6 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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I'll try not to rip too much, but anyway this is an excellent poem! I will admit I love the beginning. This poem is full of great description. I also appreciate the repetition of the beginning at the end. There wasn't much I didn't like. I didn't understand what the "building" meant after "I revel in the twisting tension". Were you talking about the tension building, or what? Other than that, I love this poem. Great job and thanks for sharing!
God bless,
♥Bri♥ -
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Yes, the word building there is a continuation of the previous line. I put it on its own line to emphasize the building tension not only in the words used, but in the flow of the poem as well. Glad you liked this and good luck with your contest!
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