Apes shit glitter and ladybugs on the phosphorescent bulb of life.
Mildew garnished spectacles give sight of war torn back alleys
filled with hoboes, pot pies, horse flies,
and vomiting clowns drunk on rat stew & ancient barbiturates of never never land.
Hospital beds of Belgium Bedlams made neatly, nightly.
Sheets of semen stained Dietal Corrosion
cover the refuted sanctuaries
for the solaceless on a forgotten Solstice.
“The dead are laughing at us…”
Fools live to die in collaborating religion,
the truly saved have life void of Dogma
yet in touch with Spirit.
Excremental pieces of existence,
time tabled and self bound
by endless monetary pursuit.
“The dead are laughing at us…”
Priapismic skeletons juggle flaming apples
in the high court of blame & patriarchy,
and the Red Queen is truly off her head.
Bobbles and trinkets. Gold from lead.
May the Circle be broken, and the Squares turned to Triangles,
with the points softened and rounded of course.
Softened like the bulbous backs of jelly fish
with it's stinging tentacles
draped o'er the open eyes of beaurocracy and customs.
But a triangle hath no appendages you say, tis ok
. . .for beaurocracy has no vision.
“The dead are laughing at us….”
Pilgrims fled across the ocean (half in exile)
in the name of religious freedom,
only to sew their own seeds of intolerance & narrow mindedness
like blind aquaphobic rats scurrying from a sinking ship
only to gnaw holes in the escape raft.
For a roach will refute a fresh hot plate
to feast on yesterday’s rubbish,
and they say that in a holocaust, only cockroaches
(and maybe Keith Richards)
would survive.
If only the roaches had ‘Sympathy for the Devil”.
“The dead are laughing at us…”
A contest entry
- vomiting points by Cinnarry.
10000 points, ended October 10, 2008, 19 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - round one; [&my weakness is that i care too much♥] by innocence jaded.xx.
1200 points, ended January 18, 48 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Did it make ya think and/or feel?
Comments
1 - 32 of 32
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Fear & Loathing
This made me think that I was a worthless shit and feel like I was being flushed down humanity's cracked sewage pipes and out into a giant stupified ocean - where I could float in perfect harmony with myself and dream of working the griddles at Hooters. Other than that, t'was good to see Keith Richards back on stage again. Gimme Shelter, please?
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shelter... what the helter.... none to be had in this storm hoss. LOL thanks for stopping by.
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...brilliant...what's more the moving background of...is it vishnu or krishna? (my religious studies days are behind) That emphasises this rather hypnotic state of distorted reality that appears from exile...but sometimes the distortion is better...
...now that was only the background I mentioned...but what of the poem? Well I could probably analyze this poem to a really insane amount...but I feel my interpretation of it is insane and drab...in particular some of the metaphors give quite a few contrasting antonymous ideas in my head...shit resembling glitter? Clearly shows that people can take the most excreted rubbish but as long as it's worth something to someone high it's worth someone to everyone...
...amazing...now I move on to read part II...
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Wow, this paints a very disturbing picture of our rat-infested humanity.
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Sounds lovely :-) a really distopian view of the world, it really makes you almost squirm at the unpleasantness of it all therefore I have to say that this is an admirable piece of writing if a very uncomfortable one. The repeated lines binding it together while disjointing it are particularly powerful, I do believe the dead are laughing at us, apart from the ones that we caused to be dead.
p.s Stunning background by the way if a little distracting while trying to write a comment :-)
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distopian.... groovy. thanks for the new word, i dig the meaning and the way the word flows off the tongue, not to mention it being easily applicable to internal rhyme (end rhyme is so bourgiouse LOL)
any way ill quit showin my ass. glad ya enjoyed. if ya like this persuse my earlier works as here of late I fear they are just a bit too surreal for the masses.
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Of course, you are an extremely good and accomplished poet which actually makes me want to vomit. This is so excellently, creatively rendered it makes mine seem like rubbish, maybe I'll go back and spend another 20 years working on it. I'd wish you luck but luck has nothing to do with it.
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thank you for accolades and glad ya enjoyed.
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9/10
Wowww. This was nothing short of brilliant; I like how you wrote this so cleverly and used so many simplistic yet beautiful memories to describe the meaning of your actual poem. I don't think I have much to criticize on...though I do like colored backgrounds
lol ;] This poem shows you have potential and talent. Veryyy well written. Welcome to the finalists ♥
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thnx
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and vomiting clowns drunk on rat stew & ancient barbiturates of never never land.
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How do you come up with this stuff
You are one of the most diverse poets out there, it may seem you can write almost anything and still be good. This was great and the ending with the pilgrims what you said was SO TRUE, I like how that was such a bold take on things.
Nice job.
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I don't know, but if I figure it out I will probably lose it LOLL
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So true That what makes you, well you
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LOL the dead have an awesome sense of humor, that's what I think. lots of interesting ideas and images here. One that I particularly enjoyed was: "For a roach will refute a fresh hot plate
to feast on yesterday’s rubbish." Confession: I am too tired now to say anything useful. -
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yeah, dont they. LOL
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touch of prophetic in you....
careful...
you know what they use to do to
"messengers"
of intestinal truths....
nasty...incisions upon the living flesh!
raw..and powerful was your poem,
to pull us in...and not allow our eyes to close!
well done,
well done!
ears/Seattle
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thanks ears, much appreciated
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I like alot of these images. It is a bit different then I am used to but that is not necessarily a negative. The concept is great, the title is thought provoking, the openness you have with your writing is great (who uses the phrase ape shit in their first line? Haha, that was a great opener!) Overall a good piece.
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Your imagery is bright, vivid, and surprising. The line "the dead are laughing at us" alone is food for thought but you have taken it so much farther. I aspire to write more like you, with images that come to life as one reads. Awesome poem!!!
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thanx. and I always feel awkward hearing that next statement, all i can say is aspire to write more like YOU. Embrace those artist that amuse your muse, but continually find and refind your Voice. Spur your muse into a frenzy and just feed upon her drippings.
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theres something a bit ginsberg about this too.
dear god
i have a love hate thing with Ginsberg. He riles me up
Apes shit glitter and ladybugs on the phosphorescent bulb of life.
Mildew garnished spectacles give sight of war torn back alleys
filled with hoboes, pot pies, horse flies,
and vomiting clowns drunk on rat stew & ancient barbiturates of never never land.
well that just spits it out
yes i really like that
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thanx I am def. prone to beatnick influence at times. my love hate is bukowski, more hate than love tho.
and yeah, ancient barbituates of never never land that just resonates in my warped noodle.
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Wonderful. Thank you for entering the contest, good luck.
♥
whisper
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Congrats!
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thanx, it was an honour.
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bookmarked
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Interesting.
Excremental pieces of existence,
time tabled and self bound
by endless monetary pursuit.
“The dead are laughing at us…”
If I had to choose, this would be my favorite part, tho the queen reference was cool..lol
You have an interesting vocabulary, yet you manage to bring it all together quite nicely.
I didn't have to bring my dictionary this time, which is good because I'm tired, I enjoyed this piece, it offers something different to the reader, instead of the same hum-drum rhyming found everywhere.
Good stuff hoss. -
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I am honoured by your words above. and yeah, prone to heavy infractures of poetic license, "words are such groovy toys".
walks away in a puff humming something bout a dragon....
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Adrain
This is a tough take on humankind. though as a reader of history sadly it is true. But damn the is one descriptive hard hitting write. And Keith Richards. Does he not eat cigs? lol
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just the butts. ROFLMAO . . Thank you for taking to delve into this one Bob, history is not the simple clean fascade they spoonfed us as kids in school is it.
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"May the Circle be broken, and the Squares turned to Triangles,
With the points softened and rounded of course."
A classic reborn"... lol
I must be dead cause i'm laughing me carcass off.
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roflmao, sounds like leperous hysteria there sheltered. glad ya enjoyed.
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