As she walked away, I thought of an apple
something round and ripe…so inviting in a moment;
then I noticed the sway of her body and I thought
of a palm tree on the beach lean and curl in an ocean breeze. When she turned and smiled, I thought of something angelic.
I decided not to think of this woman, so many alluring
parts of her, because beneath it all, was a real treasure
a pleasure of touch and feeling, caring; a sense of being
caught in a bubble, and the whole world was on the outside
and just two within, and within the two…one thought.
And I closed my eyes to say goodbye, I would simply not think of her until her wonders seeped into my dreams, to bring me sweaty wakeups, clutchings at pillows and sheets, a certain odd walk stepping from bed in the morning. I could deal with all of that, my fig leaf life, I could say.
Truly, I was a man in a garden, and it was the Angel that tempted. The fig leaf ...was a most uncertain morning prose.
A contest entry
- Prose II Let's Do It Again by Dalaney.
900 points, ended September 26, 2008, 15 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Breathtaking. I loved this from the moment I first read it. Every word feels like lace against the skin...You truly have the pulse of desire in your pen. Love, Lane
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Thank you Lane-
I don't write prose very much, so this was fun and different; thank you for your most kind words and the honor of the bronze...PK
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There is something to be said in between these lines. I can see there is
perhaps the peeking of humor behind the lightness of the piece.
Fig leaf...a beautiful image...and to be an uncertain one at that makes me
question on who's perspection might be the less accurate one. ;)
As she walked away, I thought of an apple
something round and ripe…so inviting in a moment;
then I noticed the sway of her body and I thought
of a palm tree on the beach lean and curl in an ocean breezeBeautiful lines, sir!
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I had to laugh reading this, you have all nicely hidden behind the lines (or should I say, behind the fig leaf?) but still left plenty romm for imagination here.
I agree with Paul, quite a creative work of desire.
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PK the paralel is wonderful, just wonderful. And the twist at the end is my favorite line:
"...Truly, I was a man in a garden, and it was the Angel that tempted. The fig leaf ...was a most uncertain morning prose."
quite a creative spin on desire.
Paul
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Well done, bro. Wouldn't have even tried to write something for this. LOL "fig leaves" "apples" and "angels" O my! Write on and good luck.
Dez
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I like the image of the bubble, with the outside world at a low unobtrusive hum, I understand the fig leaf life
with the reference to the apple and the angel, the struggle between being tempted but yet hesitant.
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