Paradoxically, I'm feeling
that my foolish mind is reeling
from crashing into fortune's ceiling,
as body feels the sweetest healing.
A lover's kiss - for now, quite tempting
and loosed by sanity's exempting,
my sense falls to desire's preempting . . .
it's liberty that I'm attempting.
My trepidation battles wonder,
convictions held are rent asunder.
My fear is of most violent blunder,
of pain, of loss, of going under.
The ripples from that single kiss:
eternal pain, immortal bliss?
Author notes
A sorta sonnet.
Title: Latin for "body of trouble"
(if my Latin is amiss, someone please let me know! 
)
RatherImaginative
- The Inkwell group list • next in list
A contest entry
- Rhymed prewrites only ... by ecrivain01.
750 points, ended November 14, 2008, 61 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your Best Pre-Written Rhyme by poets whisper.
800 points, ended November 11, 2008, 56 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
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This poem definately holds a paradox within its allegory. Wonderfully done! the last couplet was a beautiful culmanation of the whole. This gave me the wonders of experiencing both death and life(via-relationship), both internally and externally.
~Starr~ xox
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delightful
I really enjoyedreading this one such a light hearted rhythm and a pleasant subject.
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Wonderful!
I most enjoyable experience. What a great rhyme! I love good rhyme. Well done! -
Wonderful! The rhyming is perfect, rolls right off the tongue. I really enjoyed this poem, and thank you for entering my contest!
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Wow, This is Terrific
Great ending, great rhyme and flow throughout.
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Bravo
We share the same leanings towards poetry. I love a good ryhme. Enjoyed
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Very nice sonnet with nice rhymes. I like the third stanza especially which has a very strong image brought forth from your words. Keep writing and good luck in the contest.
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Not bad ...
thanks for entering. -
Bandit Appreciation
Thank you for this wonderful entry to the reading list
your participation is appreciated!
The Poetic Bandits
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This has a wonderful rhythm to it - I really like the way it just rolls around in my mind intense in a light-hearted way - this is a definite favorite
Keep writing
Polly
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This 'sonnet' has pleasing rhyme and meter, it flows with great ease and was a pleasure to read and ponder. Good word choices and emotional depth.
Thanks for sharing.
Dennis
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Flawless rhyme
This was a joy to read -
A sorta sonnet - a new form of poetry perhaps? LOL Liked the endings and how you kept them all the same - good flow and bilingual as well. Enjoyed this poem and the romantic sentiment it shares.
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The wonders of romantic love
and the power of a 'single kiss' is heat that I feel coming from your poem. Subtle allusions to the heat that can be created and the ensuing insanity.
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Rather Imaginative
To write a sonnet, 'let me count the ways'
Just ask Elizabeth Barrett Browning
Alas but she`s gone,I`ve heard what she says
What could there be wrong with some renowning
As we all know, tis important to live
Truth from one who, won`t hasten to marry
Name your style 'Rather Imaginative'
Or supreme poetry 'a la Carrie'
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Thank you so much, and good to hear from you again!
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I liked the rhyming and your choice of words and images. I loved how the opening lines leave me 'reeling' for more and that your approach in subtle. Cheers
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Your closing couplet says it all, dear poet Wonderfully written. My story ended with the eternal pain, but I like to think that some stories end with immortal bliss
Your Latin is spot-on, AFAIK.
Thanks for sharing
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I am not too familiar with Sonnets, but the poem is well crafted, and has great rhyme and flow. The message is clear.
Love & light
Debbera
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This is a nice little lyric. I don't have much experienmce with sonnets. Keep on writing and good luck in yiur future writing endeavors.
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Great to see you writing again...
A tempting write on how our convictions can come unstuck and the fateful crash that can follow. That time when desires linger about and our thoughts become engaged. All held together with perfect rhyme and flow and good choice of words...great write...alby
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The confusion will go away, the healing will happen and our blunders are all part of life.
They call it life, because it isn't the end, it is always a new beginning.
Wonderful
Don
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