Ten years of seasons come and gone
since they found me on that day
hanging from a rope at dawn
all my sorrows washed away.
Eyes glazed as the morning haze
met the mist of my last night.
Every one said it was just a phase
but I had given up the fight.
Long past, spiritually lost
my soul, a well run dry
emotions covered in frost
I’d forgotten how to cry.
Returning to this spot each year
in hopes I’ll see the light
stepping through devoid of fear
I’ll finally end the fight.
Author notes
In Loving Memory Of....Me
BluesMan
A time you tried to commit suicideThis is written from the view of the Ghost of a sucessful suicide.
In a list
- Silver • next in list
- Soulful/Spiritual • next in list
- Dark • next in list
- Death, Grief And Life After Death • next in list
A contest entry
- B&W Photo Prompt Contest by Girl With Guitar.
700 points, ended October 30, 2008, 14 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me anything! by ASmileForYou.
560 points, ended December 16, 2008, 138 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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awww this is sweet.
nice
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Wow this is one of the best suicide poems I have read
Congrats on the trophies that you have won so far
Thank you so much for entering my contest and Good luck
-♥Amy♥ -
Yo, for a suicide poem I was entertained. "everyone said it was just a phase" , "long past, spiritually lost" those are great lines. The rhyme was good Overrall it felt decent. I've read poems like this, I felt like I was reading something ordinary with common events. Thanks for entering in my swinger party.
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Thanks for entering. great write. good luck!
~DarkestNoon
(Contest: Suicide) -
Amazing, not what I wanted but its good.
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Excellent *thumbup*
a great write, loved the rhyming and flowing of your poem...you tremendously captured the emotions and thoughts of someone who's giving up the fight...
''...Eyes glazed as the morning haze
met the mist of my last night.
Every one said it was just a phase
but I had given up the fight...''
--->beautiful poetic lines
take care
Suza
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Great work!
Best of luck.
-Buster -
I love your rhyme and flow! But not really what i was looking for...still...great job! Thanks for entering my contest and good luck!
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Beautiful, how lovely.
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wow, this is a great poem, it reminds me of a book i read one but i dont recall the name. i really loved you flow though, and the whole perspective of it, its great, thanx for sharing it with me!
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loved it thanks 4 sharing good luck
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I loved the rhyme that you used
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oh wow. such a unique take on suicide. i really like the ryhme you used
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This was very creative. I really like the way it flows and tells a story.
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I like the way you describe the peice and the way you tell why you did it ! It was a good peice and I enjoyed it! Keep up the good work and thankyou for entering!
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personally I think the teddy was murdered and they tried to make it look like suicide ... Detective Goren figured it out though and killing a teddy bear is a capitol offense.
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Completed
It flowed well and you completed the ABAB format. Though the quote was vaugley refrenced, I enjoyed it, none the less. Great job and good luck.
May I suggest scimming the rules again. -
wow this was really good
i loved it
great job
thankyou for entering my contest
xXalyXx -
gosh this is great!
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This is a very beautiful, moving poem.
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This is amazing. The End.
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Beautiful.
Love the emotion placed in this poem!
Stunning. -
Well written but that kind of negative thought should not pass anyones mind ever. There is a reason for life and man should not try to get out of it. He will just return to do it again. A well earned trophy
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WOW..THATS ALL I CAN SAY...WOOOW
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beautiful
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really a powerful write, and very sad. i like the metaphor you use with your soul as a well run dry and your emotions covered in frost. good work
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that was so touching - i know i could never understand another's pain completely - but sharing the experience of death in reality is something we can all relate to.
i know what it feels like to want to end it all - to make the numbness/pain go away.
thank you for writing this - honestly.
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This is very beautifully written. I could feel the pain and agony in this piece. I about cried. I enjoyed the read!!! Thank you for entering my contest
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The indifference and glazed outlook on life shown in this really stand out, nicely done. "faze", however, should be "phase", and i'm not sure if the comma in the first line of the third stanza is meant to be there.is it long past being spiritually lost, or long past, and spiritually lost? it might be clear normally tho, i just wasn't sure myself. overall, quite a good write!
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Captivating and heart wrenching.
You speak with rhyme and simplicity… yet your words are deep and full of so much sadness and agony.
You speak of the past and how you forgot how to cry, right there I was touched. Each word has a purpose and meaning and is a metaphor for your life and you’re spiritually lost past.
The ending, is powerful and truly full of pain, inner faith in finding the light to end your haunting fear and divine soul searching.
I’m surprised you didn’t win a gold trophy, amazing piece =)
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I love poems that when I read it, people around me can tell how I feel or what kind of poem I was reading my expressions...very well done..
I like the simplicity and how straight forward the poem is. -
"faze" - "phase"?
I actually was curious to see what people would get from this image, and in fact I didn't think I would get any entries based on this. However, I actually kind of feel like a proud mamma, because I actually thought of suicide when looking at this image. However, you've taken it to the next level and actually seem to have taken points of the picture and put it in your writing, for instance the "all my sorrows washed away" with the water under the bridge. Great work, I really like this
ITNC -
i really like this poem it flows perfectly
great write
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what beautiful writing you have here.I have really enjoyed the piece
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Well Done
What an interesting and creative take on the prompt! I really enjoyed this piece a lot. Great rhythm and rhyme. It was captivating through and through! Good luck in the contest!
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