The broken cigarette
swirled lazily
in the dirty
oil-pretty rainwater
that washed
from the sidewalk
I watched, fascinated
as it danced, paused
changed direction
spun slowly
and finally
disappeared down the drain
On this street
cigarettes
did not usually
go to waste
tramps and bums
Hoovered them assiduously
in even the heaviest rain
but today
the street was different
today we were here
investigating
An upright honest citizen
well so they said
had found her
lying behind his lock-up
dead
of course
thick red ooze trailed
lazily away from her body
a fully loaded revolver
in a brown paper bag
lay beside her
unfired
no sign of a murder weapon
no sign of a murderer
what was a middle aged
well dressed woman doing
in this street
in the rain
at night
and
as I broke another cigarette
and watched it float
lazily in the gutter
why did I decide
to quit smoking
this week?
Author notes
items 9 and 17 a brown paper bag and a broken cigarette
In a list
A contest entry
- Your Challenge Is To... by Dalaney.
900 points, ended October 2, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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ooooh, a bit Sam Spadish here
A very imaginative write...i am totally convinced you can write anything and make it wonderful. Love, Lane
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Cool
Bond here Joe Bond. lol
Love this.
Joe
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I love those dramatic images spun throughout. It quite reminds me of an old favorite tv show, "Dragnet" but then I love all the new ones (csi series) You do this well!
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well glad you had time to do this,
seems like you been running out of time for other things
but hey
you seem to nail it on the prompt
best wishes
Passions
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Great detective story. You took two words and gave a great visual to your audience.
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This is one I'm glad I didn't miss.
I agree with Mairi, you are getting FV, this one proves it
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I think you're getting the hang of this.
"the dirty oil-pretty rainwater" - damn good, you're playing with language.
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Bodies and cigarettes like broken promises without any hope. Very bleak. Very well done. Again the moment shows more than words could tell.
Peace,
Tom B.
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Well hell with it, torch the next one up. LOL
Well painted images, my socks would have come off but my shoes are tied.
Buddy
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Wow..this is so different from what I expect to read when I click on one of your poems! You do this style really well. I was reminded of Phillip Marlowe. It could have come right off the pages of one of those paperback novels...superb!
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