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落とされる [fallen]

"s      p          e          a          k

and you will be heard"
               
except when no one
          wants to listen.
[doves cry, but never say a word]


"S      C      R      E        A        M

and you will be aided"
               
except when no one
          really cares.
[all hope has faded]

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 33 of 33

  • La Morte
    July 27
    Edit | Reply
    .... i love this poem its so good
    so simple yet the message is there.


  • Sgt. Pepper
    March 26

    Edit | Reply
    much love for the spacing, very effective.
    the brackets makes even more of an impact made me truly sad. great write. thank you! alex

  • Hairybeasthockey
    March 16
    Edit | Reply
    I liked this a lot!! Great write!


  • XXheartbroken3XX
    January 10
    Edit | Reply
    wow very good write.
    KEEP IT UP!!!
    XoXo


  • lowercase prelude gold member
    January 2
    Edit | Reply
    this was really good
    very well done


  • cutiepie1
    December 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow...this was really good. i really liked
    this poem. i agree the wording and format
    behind this was amazing.

    ily <3
    ~Mandy


  • Rhythm Child
    November 17, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    i loved the format behind this and the wording was amazing
    a great write

  • Black Rayne
    November 13, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    You have a unique way of writing
    i really like it


  • Zeal
    November 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Hmm this is very good, the spacing keeps the readers interest and the words run so well together that it makes this piece very beautiful. Great job.


  • JustsimplyKriss.
    October 30, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    ...

  • Was
    October 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very cool, i like how it rhymes but still has meaning... i wish it was longer tho... STill pretty!!


  • X...
    September 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    woah....this is like really awesome i loved the flow of this hehe and all the random spacing and skips and brackets lol hehe this was pretty and good on the ears and omg japanese (i think) letters lol


    • BrokenWings...Fly
      September 30, 2008

      Edit | Reply
      thanks so much >.<

      yesh i random space alot O.o lol
      and si, its japanese <3

      thanks again <33
      -Rayne


  • HopelesslyHelpless
    September 25, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    beautiful omg..wow


  • LovesPlayToy
    September 25, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    this is truly a work of art

    great job


  • Angel Wings1960
    September 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Your words are so true. I love your poem.
    It feels like you are in a crowded room yet
    you are still all alone.


  • movedon
    September 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow Rayne..this is amazing! Very creative with the Chinese lettering. Added to the poem!! I loved it!

    ing alone,
    Mylee

  • DarkRomantic113
    September 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    How'd you get the chinese characters?

1 - 33 of 33