Bright shining stars
In the night
Shine so brightly
In the night
Bright shining stars
In the sky
Makes me wonder
Why there so high
For all I know
Stars are bright
And they are
In the night
Author notes
Sorta childish
Anything
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
-
You are off to a good start with your writing. I really like it but I think you should have not reapeated night so many times!
-
Bright shining stars
In the night
Shine so brightly
In the night
I don't know if it's meant to be so repetitive, but the first stanza is the only one that really does it, it might sound a little better if you changed one of the "In the night's" but an altogether good write -
aww this is so cute! great job!
-
I don't find this childish at all. I find it rather charming and intelligent. Everybody has their own way of expressing their thoughts and feelings in their writing and you're no exception to that rule. Thanks for sharing.
Brian -
Nice poem, the only thing that is lacking in my opinon is the last part "For all I know" I thnk it would make more sence if you said "all I know" keep up the good work.
~ Going for top comments, I am to poor to applaud~
~Need advice for me poems,thanks~ -
Well the repetition is kind of soothing. It's not too childish. It's gentle and bright. There is one little mistake though.
In the last line of the second stanza "there" should be "they're" or "they are"
Keep writing
Ellie
Adding your comment:
1 - 6 of 6
