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The Soul of Nature

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I thought I heard you whisper

as I stopped to pause awhile
my eyes drank deep the visions

of nature's irrepressible style


my senses flowed with feelings

that seeped into my brain
osmotically absorbed

by all the beauty I surveyed


you gently whispered to me

as leaves danced in the breeze
and the sun shone in its azure sky

between the clouds of peace


the grass swayed with rhythm

as the flowers bowed and glittered
with their myriad of colours

and style that they emitted

I saw the children playing

their voices bursting with joy
they scampered round the park

each precious girl and boy


their innocence and frailty

shone through youthful eyes
they think not of hatred

they haven't been burdened so


but time will tell another tale

that's something we all know

what we call the old ones

were lost in silent reverie


of years gone by where loss

was the price paid for memories

now alone at night they dwell

with thoughts their only companion


but oh...how their wisdom

made them glow just like the sun
as precious as the children

as special as everyone

you whispered softly of bygone times

how some things never change
there is no rhyme or reason

in the way life is arranged


ducks revelled in their watery abode

birds glided up above
they sing their songs so sweetly

but what are they singing of?


do they sing of all they see

from their lofty view up high
do they have chance to twitter

at the 'humans' they espy

all around me the mighty trees

stood their ground in silence...bar the whisper...

 of the wind as she made music

with their leaves of every colour


I heard their soft rustling

their chatter to each other

what have these trees seen...we might ask

but we will never know the answer


it's hidden in their textured

bark concealed from open view
they see it all...the pain and joy

in every shade and hue

natures full of many languages

we will never understand
but we don't need the words

to know the essence of life’s plan


you whispered to me that sunny day

as a smile caressed my lips...

there’s so many things I want to know

...that time alone will gladly show

you know...they say that

youth is wasted on the young.
I have to agree...

because I have only just begun.

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

picture credit: unknown artist

"The sun shines not on us, but in us. The rivers flow not past, but through us, thrilling, tingling, vibrating every fiber and cell of the substance of our bodies, making them glide and sing."
John Muir
Source: The Gospel of Thomas

prompt 1

A contest entry

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 46 of 46

  • Fail-me-not
    August 14

    Edit | Reply
    Brillaint ,, this is truly and inspiration, i have writting some nature related poems if would like to check them out

  • Abnormal
    June 28

    Edit | Reply
    Wow. The way this poem makes you think is amazing. I don't know how you managed to keep up the interesting well written stanzas for 18 stanzas! Well done! A unique and great write. Good luck and thanks for entering!


  • Jayde1
    May 17

    Edit | Reply

    lovely

    this is a great poem......loved the flow and story,
    really liked the last verse
    niceone
    x

  • ah yes, youth is wasted on the young, we flutter it away like we are going to stay young forever, then time pops in and winks as nature dances. a good poem.

  • A beautiful write, so full of Nature singing out her melodies to tender ears that take time to listen to her
    Well done

  • AMAZING!!!! I can not exspress how much this poem made me SMILE!!!!!!! so brava!!!

    you have been tagged!


  • januaryrain gold member
    March 7

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful, some of the rhyming was off on a few stanzas but still a wonderful read, I really enjoyed it.
    Thank you for your entry.


  • poet360
    March 3

    Edit | Reply
    wow this really spoke to me. it had me very close to tears. I love this piece!
    good luck in my contest!


  • Dark Otter
    February 23

    Edit | Reply

    Yep!

    I kind of like the whole thing. Don't know why! It just works for me in every sense of the word. A well written piece that deserves the recognition that it gets.


  • Jesann gold member
    February 20

    Edit | Reply
    What an amazing & wonderful write.
    I love it.
    A perfect title for this precious piece..which is truly excellent.
    Congrats on your shiny's..well deserved.


  • Puppydog gold member
    February 18

    Edit | Reply

    THIS PUTS ME RIGHT AT EASE!!!!

    You have captured here so many of the sights and sounds which make ones memories the wonderful things they are! The young at play, the leaves in the forest, and oh so many beautiful things which seep into ones heart and bring such loving peace to it.


  • Symphony
    February 17

    Edit | Reply
    This was gorgeous;

    It was so full of love, and a positive outlook, appreciating all the beauty around us -

    "their innocence and frailty

    shone through youthful eyes
    they think not of hatred

    they haven't been burdened so"

    Definitely my favourite verse as you caught the innocence and purity of the child so wholly here; the child who has not been exposed yet to darker sides of life -

    thank you for entering


  • Ken-Maverick
    February 3

    Edit | Reply

    Shaweetness!!

    This poem had everything from love, life, liberty to hope, and what an ending aswell.
    Congrats on your shiny's

    Ken

    • Mariana gold member
      February 3
      Edit | Reply
      'Shaweetness!!'...I loikes it!...I am gonna keep that word...make it my own. You have hereby been officially warned


  • Shantti
    January 10

    Edit | Reply
    I have to admit that I have a fairly short attention span that usually won't hold for long writes. But your poem here kept my attention all the way through. I like the way you used the correlation of time, children and nature, and the way each stanza feeds you into the next.
    Beautifully done, thank you for entering .


  • echo-ink
    January 7

    Edit | Reply
    This was so full of natures beauty and her outlook.
    Beautiful, a wonderful read.
    Some of the rhyming was off on a few stanzas, but still, a great read.
    Thanks for entering.


  • Kathraina silver member
    January 4

    Edit | Reply
    This is such a lovely piece. I love nature too. This is expressed very well. The flow is fantastic and I love the imagery! Absolutely fantastic piece!!!!

    ♥ Kathraina


  • AsIThink gold member
    December 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    So long, yet full of valuable insights and wisdom. I like the way that you volley the serious off of the near-whimiscal here. You did very nice with this as far as I'm concerned; a very lovely read. This part commanded my attention:

    "natures full of many languages
    we will never understand
    but we don't need the words
    to know the essence of life’s plan"

    AsIThink...

  • Drowned Ophelia
    December 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, what amazing imagery and feel to this poem. The rythm was very unique and flowing. A really great poem, bravo!

  • Tercarro
    December 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Very nice

    This is a wonderful story you have painted very enchanting. Wish I could read your mind each day instead of my daily paper.


  • Ellis gold member
    December 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Lovely

    A beautiful trip through the Great Outdoors (especially for one who is housebound like me).


  • JinSays gold member
    December 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful.
    The colors just come to life, your imagery is amazing.
    I love this write, and I wish you all the best in your contests.
    Love always,
    Jin


  • Uniquely-Scarred
    December 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    you have painted a lovely picture of nature seen through a childs eyes, and a little turn around in there sugesting that nature isn't as beautiful as you get older at least that's what i took from it you describe the sun the flowers and the grass so beautifuly it was a pleasure to read,

    Take Care

    John

    • Mariana gold member
      December 4, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      I meant that everything in nature is beautiful...even older people...they shine with love and wisdom. Thank you for your comment. I am glad you liked it Take care!

  • piccola silver member
    November 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this deserved gold and I was so happy to see one. Breathtaking graphic you chose too. It suits the write well. Thank you for entering.


  • nilav
    November 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    you make us hear the whisper and see all those visions of nature filling our mind with serious thoughts on the essence of life as it flows with the smooth flow of the words ....congrats on the trophy


  • Swangrnv gold member
    November 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    beautiful

    Your observation of nature in her 'natural' state is very impressive. I love how you've woven this piece into something of a journey as seen thru the eyes of
    a 'wondering mind'..


  • Sunshine Always
    November 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Congratulations on winning gold.A truly very deserving piece excellently writen....mal


  • Zenda-Lokki gold member
    November 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Fantastic!

    Such a beautiful poem of natures soul. I love your word play within this and would say that this part for me stood out the most:

    "do they sing of all they see
    from their lofty view up high
    do they have chance to twitter
    at the 'humans' they espy"

    Thank you so much for pointing me in the direction of this wonderful poem. Congrats on the well deserved gold trophy.

    Del xx


  • wingsofgold25 silver member
    November 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    A very compelling write you have here I love nature poems write a lot about nature myself. I appreciate good rhyming poet. A job well done.
    Thank you for your entry and good luck in the contest.
    ED.


  • Rhythm Child
    November 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    A great entry and lengthy entry
    thanks for taking part, wishing you luck would be an insult to your talent so take care

    message me for anything
    Billy (Rhythm Child)


  • apoeticinjustice gold member
    November 16, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    beautifully penned, a treat to read this dreary Sunday afternoon. Well done.
    Rory

  • Bob Fox
    November 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Wow

    Bygone times. A wonderful write poet. Such wonder and beauty in this vaste cavlacade of thoughts. Just one ecxellent piece dear gal.


  • trekkergirl
    October 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Thanks for sharing this poem with us. I just love the picture it is wonderfully colorful and adds a bright spot to your already wonderfully written poem. Thanks for entering it into my contest.


  • Super-man
    October 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Wow

    The last verse is awesome.

    Stunning work once again.

    All the best for the contests.


  • Freswinn
    October 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    The rhyming scheme in this poem is inconsistant, but such inconsistance can be made to work if you do it right; even in a simple way such as line spacing. Message me if you want to hear. =)


    • Mariana gold member
      October 16, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      I would appreciate any help I can get to correct whatever you feel doesn't rhyme correctly

      Thank Ye Kindly


  • new born
    October 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is great. A little lengthy, but I don't see one scentence, one word that isn't necessary to the poem. Great job! (By the way thanks for following the rules.)


  • Jenny84
    October 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    ok I really liked this poem I liked the picture as well great job. Thank you for your entry. and good luck to ya I laso loved the way it all flowed together.


  • Pisces rainbow gold member
    October 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    MARIANA, I AM A HUGE FAN OF RHYME BUT WOW, I WOULD CHOOSE THIS OVER RHYME ANY DAY.IT FLOWED EFFORTLESSLY,
    AND IMAGERY WAS NATURAL. TRIED TO PICK A FAVORITE LINE, BUT CAN'T.
    YOU HAVE QUITE A NATURAL TALENT
    EXQUISITE
    GOD BLESS YOU...

  • Rajpal Singh
    September 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Hey Mariana, you poem the soul of rain is a lengthy and good poem. But it lacks rhythmic notes which leave musical effects in the heart of a reader of poetry. This musical effect of poetry only draws a line between a prose and a poetry. Please don't take my comment otherwise. I hope from you a poem more poetic than prose. An unknown friend from India, Rajpal Singh, e-mail phi_rajpal@rediffmail.com

    • Mariana gold member
      September 24, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      ...Unknown Friend...

      Thank You so much for your constructive comments. I have changed some of the poem. I hope it is more poetic now. :-)


  • smonte19124 gold member
    September 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Well Done!

    This poem captured nature in all it's beauty. The imagery is fantastic. I would not change one word of this lovely creation. God Bless, Jo-Ann

    • Mariana gold member
      September 23, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank You so much Jo-Ann. This is all so new to me. I have much to learn. I appreciate the comments you have given me about this poem.
      Take care :-)

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