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Autumn's Rain

 

 

Autumn’s colors flow

sprinkling tears upon my blush,

misty blue moments


surrendering senses

to each gentle droplet’s caress,

as my eyes close tight, remembering you

whispers of sweet sighs trace along forsaken lips,

whilst a downpour of love consumes my heart

tender beats sing, of love’s last kiss;

showering my petals

with songs of you

 

 

 

 

Author notes

Prompt: RAIN

5 syllables
7 syllables > Haiku
5 syllables

(plz leave a space after the haiku)
then your 8 lines of verse in this format:

6 syllables
8 syllables
10 syllables
12 syllables > semi free verse and shape poetry
10 syllables
8 syllables
6 syllables
4 syllables

Thanks for the challenge

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 17 of 17

  • Errant Panther gold member
    October 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    oh how the pain of lost love can feeling like rain within ones heart, you've captured this well, perhaps the double spaced lines impedes the flow a little but the content shines above it.


  • BehindTheShadow
    October 4, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    How wonderfully beautiful the piece has turned out! Great job.


  • Silent Cougar Moderators member
    October 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful form and exquisite words placed in perfect order and shape. A great piece full of deep thought and emotion, well done, glad I popped by now.
    Best of luck


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    October 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    So beautifully written!! Soft imagery that leaves a sutble sadness that it is merely a memory!



  • poppa
    September 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    just simply breath-taking, oh to be the object of desire this poem paints ... the imagery is beautiful (but expect that from both you and Lynda )...
    good luck in the contest


  • Flowergirl
    September 27, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    very nice good luck for the contest it is a nice write and should win....keep it up


  • Confusedboy
    September 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Tasteful delights found here as the reader consumes thoughtful essence. I too find much delight in autumn rain, the coolness refreshes my soul.


  • Papers
    September 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Another great write! I loved the part "showering my petals with songs of you". Just beautiful! Good luck in your contest and hope everything is well where you are!


  • Samplette gold member
    September 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    A nice write. Beautiful words throughout. I do think that the double space in each form takes away from the beauty of the form, but you did a great job with your word choice. Best to you in the contest.
    Sam


  • Sandygram
    September 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Lovely Words

    A beautiful poem with stunning imagery. I can so relate to your words. Thank you for sharing my friend. Take care.

    Bless You,
    Sandy


  • moonbumps silver member
    September 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Cleverly penned with all the right ingredients-well executed as usual babes-
    Hilly xxx


  • justgot2loveme
    September 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    " to each gentle droplet’s caress,

    as my eyes close tight, remembering you ".
    I love those two lines so much, yet your
    whole poem is truly awesome. It is so very
    beautiful, you have out done your self with
    this piece. It is very enjoyable. I love it.

    Justgot2loveme


  • Carolina Moon gold member
    September 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Stunning. This is truly beautiful, both the form and your words. Best of luck on an amazing piece.

    Linda


  • Jeremy0826 silver member
    September 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful work here my friend!
    I love the thought that you put into this.
    Lovely format as well! Good luck to you
    in this contest!




    Jeremy0826


  • poeticweaver gold member
    September 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Beautiful Sis,

    I agree with Lynda, flawless in the eyes of this reader!
    Keep up the wonders of you, much love and light!

    -Brother Timothy


  • poet2angels gold member
    September 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I LOVE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Bookmarking this ...It is gorgeous in every way....Beautiful and flawless, bff!

    A purfume bottle indeed...It is so pretty!!!!


    Lynda


  • Frozentearz
    September 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    woot woot you did it
    I Love this to bits. and what a beautiful song this bottle pours. wonderful work my Dear wonderful.
    Love and Light
    Frozentearz

1 - 17 of 17