Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Relapse, relax.

Remind myself
                          :
                            I am alone
For never will my heart find home
                                              'home is where the heart is'

—his—

Yet this I must dismiss.

My lungs collapse
                                —Lover’s relapse—

Relax! I’m told.

Relax.

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • Polaja Greeters member
    September 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I really like the formatting of this piece - especially in the first stanza I don't know whether the second 'for' is necessary - I like it better without - but that is just me I love the rhyme of 'lapse' it sounds amazing!

    Keep writing

    Polly


    • SilverInk
      September 23, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      i took your advice, i think you're right. I like it better now