Ambition (Chapter 2 of Eluding Phantasy)

Chapter 2 Ambition
A few days passed since the incident Friday. My father made sure the school knew I’d be out for the week. Saul was very hospitable about the whole thing and decided that he would make me breakfast, lunch, and diner everyday. His beauty never ceased to amaze me. However, his cooking was just inedible.
Well at least I was assured he was indeed a guy and not some robotic creature, which had been my essential idea, he just seemed too good to be true. He left for work around nine and the time was almost unbearable, even though it only lasted an hour.
He returned home at ten, and I thanked God that his job was mainly done at home and not in some forsaken office.
It was a perfect utopia, well to my liking at least. I couldn’t believe how fortunate I was to be living in the same house as a god. Although returning to school would probably return me to the true unnatural reality of the world, for now I was happy and that was all I cared about. His beauty alone was enough to block all of the anxiety, and have a little left to block the sun as well.
I was not the only one who enjoyed another presence in the house. Saul also seemed to enjoy me. I assumed that he was just happy because there was a woman in his house again. I sighed. At least there was still hope, a mantra I recited everyday I remained.
In cooperation with my father wishes to be on my best behavior, I decided to clean up around the house, doing the laundry and such. It was way more than a bargain for Saul since the house was utterly unclean.
It was through this though that I was able to truly discover the house, and the beauty it held. It was first of all much bigger than any one person needed to live alone, perfect for my ambition. However, it was very hollow and lifeless, just a house not a home.
The enormous living room was very plain. It had a big stiff couch that only took up about a tenth of the room. There weren’t any pictures, and it was a placid white. The only thing that changed it was the sixty inch plasma on the wall.
The kitchen was quite the opposite. It was filled with vivacious colors, obviously done by a girl. It was way too gay for any straight guy to have done, although it was a possibility. I gagged at the idea.
The dining room contained a small table only big enough for four, but it was very elegant. This piece of art took me days to find under all of the dirty clothes and papers that had randomly been placed. I threw up when I discovered that there was still food under it all.
I essentially came to the conclusion that all men are helpless with anything that had to do with house work, well at least normal men who had some sort of life. By the end of the week the gorgeous house was completely clean.
Saul thanked me by promising me to do whatever I asked. I knew he wouldn’t so I settled for having him take me out to diner tonight at some fancy restaurant.
I decided that it was the right choice. Edible food, after having inedible food for so long, beat sex by far, and I doubt there would be any woman that would disagree to that.
Right now I was getting ready for my “date” with Saul but to no avail. All that had been grabbed from my house were a few ragged clothes. Nothing for the occasion, it seemed utterly hopeless. I walked out of my room, still choosing between the faded blouse or the overly colored one.
“Hey Sidda,” I heard from down the stairs. The angelic smooth voice overwhelmed me.
“Hey Saul, what’s up?” I asked amazed that I could even speak. He walked up the stairs his brown eyes penetrating my white skin.
“I have something to grab in town.” He said. My face was horror stricken, and to think he was going to abort our date for something ridiculous. He noticed my expression and blinked.
“Oh I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that we weren’t going out tonight. I’ll be right back.” His voice was calm and beautiful. My face brightened instantly a smile coming across it.
“Okay” I said, the words pathetic and weak were not enough to describe it. He smiled and winked at me walking back down the stairs and heading out the door. My heart began to race, my soul praying that somehow he would like me.
I sulked back into my room eyeing the pieces I had chosen. I shook my head and threw them back into my suitcase. My one chance to get his attention flew down the drain with them.
In desperation of making something of the night I grabbed my ill prepared makeup bag and ran to the bathroom. After a long shower, I dried my head and looked into the mirror. One word said it all, shit. My brown eyes were darkened by the lighting, my once tan skin was now transparent, and my brown hair seemed dull. I needed something, something that made me more “distinguished”. Of course without all of my assets there was nothing.
I blew my hair dry, deciding what to do with it. The door slammed down stairs. Saul was home and I wasn’t near being ready. I fell into nothingness. There was a knock on the door. I flung my robe shut.
“Come in.” I sighed. The sigh turned breathless. Saul was carrying a beautiful red dress. It was indescribable, the pattern was unique and the color was crimson.
“I noticed you didn’t have anything well…”
“Nice,” I interrupted. I was fully aware of that.
“Nothing extravagant.” He said smirking. My exasperation was unmatchable. “Of course if you don’t like it, I can always return it.”
“No, it’s gorgeous. Thank you very much.” I pulled my hair behind my ears. It would have worked out nicely if I hadn’t been wearing a robe. He smiled gently and walked out the door.
I thanked God for saving me, from an eternity of remembering how I’d lost my chance with him. The dress fit perfectly, going just bellow my knee. With this dress anything was possible, and my hair finally had a look. It was curled and was pulled up. It looked like Bell’s from Beauty and the Beast with a little more flair.
Saul was in a nice suit when I walked down the stairs, but that was easy to ignore. His face was more gorgeous than ever, his brown eyes sparkling, and his blond hair perfect. I didn’t realize it till I was down the stairs, that he to was looking at me the same way. We both blushed as he took my arm.
“You look very beautiful tonight.” he complimented, his face smooth and loving. I blushed.
“You too.” I said noticing my eyes were flirting more than I meant, yet again knowing me better than I did. He smirked and pulled me towards the car, opening the door, and getting in the other side. It wasn’t until now that I realized how far out of town we were. It was beautiful as the twilight sky twinkled in through the windows.
“So where are we going?” I questioned, narrowing my eyes, and pulling my hair behind my ear again. It worked much better this time. His eyes were irresistible and I almost found myself pulling off his clothes.
“It’s a secret.” he promised winking at me. I sighed in dismay feeling like a child with their eyes covered, waiting for some sort of gift.
The drive was shall we say interesting. I kept trying to figure out how I was supposed to flirt. It wasn’t easy, my lack of inexperience getting the best of me. I guessed that it would be hard for anyone who was sitting next to the most beautiful creature in heaven and on earth.
With my failure to flirt skills going on, it seemed that he was also having some sort of trouble. His face kept changing from one emotion to another; happy, sad, frustrated, peaceful. Within ten minutes he had gone through at least five hundred and ninety nine thousand nine hundred and ninety nine of the possible six hundred thousand different facial expressions. Needless to say I was conflicted, happy, distraught, and above all confused.
My face remained a monotone confusion, incapable of making any other expression.
The time dragged on, becoming monotonous and boring. There was only one major problem, I wasn’t bored. His face alone indulged me and monotone seemed fairly interesting when it was with him. On the other hand, he was bored.
It wasn’t until after driving for about an hour that he noticed my confused expression. I blushed on contact with his eyes. However, something was different. His eyes were filled with anxiety instead of peace. It tore me. I looked away.
He grabbed my chin and pulled it back to look into my eyes. I wanted to advert, never wanting to see what I feared. Reluctantly, I gave in and looked. He was smiling again, his eyes once again at peace. A sweep of relief came over my face.
“Was I upsetting you?” he asked sincerely.
“Yes” I nodded lowering my head.
“Really, and why was that?” his brain was thinking full heartedly. I looked in his eyes hinting my feelings. He remained confused.
“I thought I was boring you, or causing you anxiety.” I confessed, the utter truth He chuckled, gazing at me.
“You could never bore me.” He promised quietly.
“Well then  I’ll just have to try harder.” I shrugged. We both laughed. He looked at me again smirking.
The ice was finally broken. For the next five minutes we talked our hearts out, rambling on about nothing. I flirted fluently for about a minute, proud that I had at least succeeded, even though it was fairly meager.
The restaurant was more extravagant then I bargained for. I sighed with relief when we entered the doors. Our table awaited us. We sat down and continued our ramble.
“So what are you into, Sidda?” he asked taking a piece of bread from the basket. His eyes were entirely interested in what I had to say.
“Well that all depends on what you want to know. Do you mean in general or do you want specifics?” My eyebrows rose. His eyes narrowed.
“General first, then specifics.”
“Well my favorite stories are fictional, my favorite music is Japanese rock, I don’t have any pets, I’ve never had a boyfriend or any sort of relationship in that manner, there are few foods I don’t like, and I think I’d like to be an artist slash journalist slash writer when I’m finished with college. Is that general enough?” he smirked.
“Quite, but there are still a few questions you didn’t answer. Are you naturally a brunet? What would be the best moment in your childhood? Do you have ambitions besides being a writer? Do you fear death? And finally, what would be your perfect guy?” He chuckled. I glared.
“First of all, yes I am a natural brunet. My favorite childhood moment was having my parents together. Of course I have other ambitions besides being a writer, I already told you I wanted to be a journalist and artist.” I smirked and he laughed. “I do not fear death, but I do fear being alone when I grow up and pain, and what makes you think I’m going to tell you who the perfect guy would be?” My eyes narrowed.
“Fine.” He said shrugging it off. He smirked. “One last question then since you didn’t answer that one.”
“Fine but then I get to ask you a few Mr. Perfect.” He winced but tried to hide it. I pretended not to notice.
“What is your favorite book?” he asked. I pretended to remove sweat from my brow.
“That is a tough one but I would have to say…” I paused, pretending to build suspense. He looked at me urgently going along with it. “A Tale of Two Cities.” He laughed harder than I could have imagined.
“Why that book?” he asked his smile unfading.
“I know it was horribly written, but I like the contrast between death and his doppelganger life.” I said it thoughtfully and insightful.
“Huh, I guess I never thought about that.” He gave me a teasing look, but had agreed with what I said. Our salads came and we began to stuff our faces.
“Alright it’s my turn.” I said taking another bite of salad.
“Okay I’m ready for a bombardment.” He said smiling and chuckling.
“First the general stuff.” I took a sip of tea.
“Alright, I to like fiction, nonfiction bores me to tears, I’m a seventies rock kind of guy, you know I don’t have any pets, I’ve had one girlfriend that I count, I wouldn’t mind moving out of my house this very second and go visit some new country, I love computers and love my work, and obviously I can eat anything since my cooking is utterly awful.” I chuckled taking a sip of tea to cover it. To my misfortune I spit it out splattering the tea all over Saul. We both began cracking up, ignoring all of the stares we were receiving. Each person more disgusted then the other.
After we each cleaned ourselves off and finished our laughter, our entrées arrived. My eyelids fluttered.
“I still have a few questions.” I said when we were finished.
“Alright then shoot.”
“Do you have any other ambitions? Are you dating anyone currently? What’s your favorite passed time? What do you look for in a girl?” I bit my lip before I said my final one.
“All easy. Of course I have ambitions, but they’re a little slow right now. I’m not dating anyone” his eyes watched my movement. I took another bite my eyes remaining on his. “My favorite passed time is lying in bed having nothing else to do, and I don’t know exactly what I look for in a girl. It is all dependent on how they connect to me.”
“I see.” I said wondering if I should ask him the final question.
“You don’t look appeased” he pointed out. “I must know, the female mind intrigues me.”
“Well, I wondered what happened to…” there was an awkward silence. “Luciah?” his face analyzed mine carefully his thoughts going into place.
“It’s a long story” he murmured quietly. His eyes were hurting, and it agonized me.
“I’m sorry I don’t want to press you.” I sighed. My head fell in shame.
“I am curious. Why do you want to know?” his eyes pleaded for an answer. Reluctantly I gave in.
“Well, if I’m going to have an intellectual talk with you, I need to know who you are, and not the fake you the real you.” He seemed to agree with me. Still, my heart was racing, not because it was a lie, but because it wasn’t what I wanted to say.
He thought for a moment. I guessed speechless. At last his eyes adjusted.
“All right I will tell you, but only to an extent. Is that alright with you?” His voice was serious, no laughter or hint of absurdity.
“All right, that’s fair.” I compromised, which was really all I could do.
“Well as you know me and Luciah had been dating for, well forever. I thought we were happy, but I was just blind by my own happiness. It kind of is still all a blur, I can only remember that one night we were happy and the next she was screaming at me.
She said I had no ambition, no plan for the future. She seemed very distracted when she said it. Out of the few times in my life that I’ve cried, that was one of them. I tried doing as much as I could for her, but I was only a senior in high school, no plans, no money, and I was a hick.
Then she had a very near death experience.” He sighed, a sigh that made me more pain then I felt when I saw Alex lying on the ground with ten slashes in his chest. After what seemed forever, he continued.
“She had been at a club, she was drunk and was with some other guy. They found her in the back alley unconscious and still losing blood. It was a miracle she survived. After that day she was completely changed. She started doing a lot of things at night, always restless. Her eyes were distant and always struggling. She was no longer the same girl I’d fallen in love with.
She was out of her right mind, deranged. Her mother and I tried to intervene, it just made matters worse. All she did was stare at us belligerently. The next night her mother was found dead. Most say she was murdered, but there was only evidence of suicide.
Luciah never seemed to forgive herself for it. She didn’t do it, we knew that. But when someone leaves you after hurting you like that, there’s no way someone would be sane after it.” His eyes remained on mine constantly, like they were waiting for me to look away. My eyes remained fixated on his, making sure that I wouldn’t hurt him.
“After that fateful day we both went our separate ways. I’ve only seen her once since then, and it’s been two years. It still pains me though. Each and every day I think about what I did wrong. Still, it mesmerizes and consumes me.” His sigh was a deep breath, like his chest had removed something heavy, unimaginably heavy.
“Well, I’m glad I was able to see how you felt. I’ve never been through so much sorrow and pain, and I pray that I won’t ever have to. I wish you never had to.” I smiled showing him assurance. I didn’t truly think it was working, of course my clutsy self managed to do the job for me. The sauce was everywhere, and the drinks were even more of a mess than before, and the facial expression on the lady that fainted was priceless.
Luckily it worked. He began to smile again, and both of us decided it was best if we left the restaurant with what ever dignity remained.
“Would you like to walk through the park?” he asked his eyes beaming.
“What about thieves and bandits and perverts?” I said sarcastically, but with my recent luck I wasn’t sure how joking I truly was. He knelt down on his knee, shocking me for a second.
“I swear to protect you with my life, fairest of fair enchantresses,” he pledged. I laughed again.
“Well good sir knight, if you are certain you can protect me from night’s terrors then we shall have our walk.” I joked back quite well, for being caught off guard. I decided to take it a step further. “You may now kiss my hand.” I pulled it out from my side, shoving it in his face.
He laughed and smirked back.
“I shall my lady.” He promised, his voice velvet and charming. He kissed my hand gracefully as if I were actually royalty. We both began to laugh simultaneously, because at that moment the lady who had passed out in the restaurant had exited, and her eyes were bulging.
We took to the streets, making it sound dangerous and thrilling. Constantly laughing and well being very random. Random was good. I hadn’t had it in a while. It had been straight this, straight that, nothing just unnatural.
I was beginning to take an actual liking to Saul. It wasn’t just his looks that appealed to me anymore, or his enchanting voice. His soul was captivating mine, his personality fitting my exact descriptions of the perfect guy. He was becoming more than that hot guy, and more then a family friend to me. He was becoming the man I loved.
I put this thought aside. Love, no not love. Love hurts and is utterly useless, and there is no way to truly love someone after spending a week with them and talking over dinner. It was impossible, and I needed to be rational.
My body was doing the exact opposite. My heart was leaping, my spirit was out of control, I would go around the world a hundred times if it meant I could be with him. Luckily my brain was, for once, in charge. It cast out my bodies silly emotions, justifying itself, justifying me.
By the time we got to the park my mind was going crazy, yet I was having fun. It was good to feel the breeze, and be doing something normal, something exciting. I was happy not to be bored and cooped up inside.
We walked around the park talking about our favorite books and movies and who we wanted to be when we were younger. I was appeased to know that he wasn’t always perfect. Wanting to be Bill Clinton cast that out in a heart beat. Mine was much more respectable, but much lamer. Apparently a flower didn’t count.
“So flower child, you got to ask me a very personal question. Do I get to ask one in return?” his face was ambiguous, his smile crooked.
“Well, I guess you have been a very good knight, Sir Clinton. Alright you may ask whatever you please.” I said. It was only fair.
“Then may I ask how you got to where you are now?”
“What do you mean?”
“Well like, why are you living with your dad, has anything big affected you, and exactly what did happen last Friday?” I felt my face freeze when he asked the last question. “I guess you don’t have to tell me that.” He said realizing what he’d hit.
“No that’s fine, I mean, I asked you just a question that was just as personal. However, that was three questions.” My lips pursed jokingly.
“Ah, but they all fall under my first question that I clarified.” He protested, his defense flawless. After a minute of glares, I admitted defeat.
“Fine, it is my turn. I’ll start with my father. When my parents split up it seemed like a never ending battle for me. Each of them were having custody wars here and there. After about five years of this, I decided that it was only fair that I got to choose, and completely chewed both of my parents out for even thinking about putting me in that position.” He looked eager, very attentive. It pleased me to know he was interested.
“My mother continued the fight, but my father didn’t. He agreed with me and felt awful for ever putting me in that place to begin with. I chose him because he admitted he was wrong. I knew that that was the only way to know which of my parents loved me the most, the one that gave me up to the other so my pain would end.
That’s part of the reason why when my father suggested that I go live with my mother that first morning that I said no. I still haven’t forgiven my mother, and to be honest I don’t think she forgave me.” I looked at his eyes carefully analyzing his thoughts.
“Well I guess that explains the first two.” He said lightly, but his face remained serious. “Are you sure you don’t mind talking about the other?”
“Yes.” It was almost a whisper. “I can’t fully remember what happened to be fully honest. I mean I do up to the middle. I just remember thinking, ‘there was no hope left,’ and I gave up. I knew he was only a second away from doing it. I remember my head filled with sound in my brain that was incoherent and then, he was suddenly off me. It scared me. My eyes had been closed the entire time, and at first I thought I had died and gone to hell, but when I opened them I was still there. The only problem was there was no Alex. I ran down the stairs in such hysteria that I didn’t even realize there was a shard of glass in my foot till I looked at the steps covered in blood.” My eyes narrowed trying to remember what happened after that. What had scared me so bad that I threw up, and then I remembered Alex’s body. I shuddered.
My head was looking down at the ground. Saul pulled it up his face compassionate and sympathizing. I decided it was necessary for me to tell him.
“There is still one last thing that I remember, the one that scares me the most.”
“You mean it still scares you?” he questioned his face filling with worry.
“Yes. Alex’s body.” I murmured solemnly.
“What about it? Just seeing him dead,” he guessed.
“No,” I took in a deep breath. “His body was, well more mangled then just one that fell out of a window.” His eyes had widened, I could see the worry in his eyes. However, it was something else that seemed to be troubling him.
“What was wrong with it?” he asked his voice stern but still calm.
“He had ten huge gashes in his chest. When I saw them he was still bleeding, dead, but bleeding. His body was completely soaked in it, his skin seemed to have absorbed it.” I gagged in memory of it, barely able to suppress it. Saul eyes were malignant, but he was not looking at me. He was in a trance, his mind elsewhere.
Suddenly his face lightened and looked at my horrorstricken face. His eyes became a moist brown, his smile relieving all of my fear. I couldn’t help but smile back. The trees around him seemed to lighten too. The lights became brighter around the park, and all gloominess subsided.
“That is pretty disturbing, but who knows how it happened. Don’t be worried though I don’t think you would be capable of it. I mean you gagged at the very thought, your stomach wouldn’t be strong enough.” He chuckled.
“How do you know what I’m capable of? I could so have killed him. Maybe I have an alternate personality that slain him without me knowing.” I joked back my eyes narrowing. It hadn’t been that funny, but at least he was trying to lighten the mood.
“Well if I were you I wouldn’t tell people about that. It may freak them out. You seem to stick your foot in your mouth a lot, Sidda.”
“I’m not Sidda, I’m Cathy. Who’s this Sidda you speak of?” I said mockingly. We both laughed shortly. He took my arm and we headed out of the park.
Strangely enough I was beginning to feel, edgy. I didn’t know what it was just something didn’t feel right. I could feel the eyes watching me. Not Saul’s eyes someone else’s. I pulled away from his arm glaring behind me. No one was there, just the trees swaying in the wind. Maybe the chill I felt was just the wind. Taking a chance I snuggled next to Saul for warmth.
He was stiff. He felt the same presence I did. Now I was worried. I pulled his head down to make sure they didn’t hear what I said.
“Where are they?” I whispered, trying to make it look dirty. He laughed playing the façade. He pulled me closer to his side.
“There in the trees,” he said through gritted teeth, not moving his lips. I gulped.
“What do ‘you’ really want, you silly man?” I said falsely laughing, emphasizing the ‘you’ so he knew what I was trying to say.
“You,” he said curtly, however his eyes were telling a different story. They were cold and anxious. We kept walking.
“Why on earth would you want me?” I asked starring into his eyes, waiting for their response.
“I don’t know.” He answered. “I guess you’re just so darn beautiful, and of course I’m right up your luck alley.” Now he to was playing the part, obviously not wanting anything more than to get out.
“Will you protect me?” I asked a true question. He glared at me in confusion, and then saw the fear that I had been hiding.
“Of course, as I promised my lady, from the thieves, the bandit, and the ‘perverts’.” The emphasis was obvious. I looked ahead seeing the exit. It was only a few yards away. We quickened our pace. Not fast enough. One came from the shadows, followed by four other big men.
“Shit!” I muttered under my breath. Saul grabbed me tight around the waist.
“What is it you gentlemen want?” he stated through gritted teeth. I smiled, trying to hide my fear, yet again.
“The girl’s all we want pretty boy. So if you would kindly hand her over we won’t resort to violence.” The one I first saw said. He was big and muscular, very tone. He had to have only been in his twenties. My eyes glared at him.
“Sorry, but she’s taken.” Saul winked at me fearless. I couldn’t understand how he could be. He was outnumbered five to one, and there was no possible way, that I could think of, that I could help. They were huge.
The men looked at him mockingly, laughing as if it were all some sort of big joke. The tone one came up reaching out towards me. My instincts took hold before anyone else made a movement. He was flat on his back in a second.
I was surprised by my own strength. I then realized it hadn’t been me. My distraction had given Saul enough time to knock the guy on his ass. There was a brief pause.
It was sudden, but anticipated. The other four men came at Saul. I was shoved out of the way, for my own protection. I fell into the dark. It seemed to take me ages to get myself up from the ground, and when I did I was shocked.
All five of the men had been taken out within a matter of seconds. Saul was unscathed. Only one hair on his entire head was out of place.
“Let’s go Sidda,” he said quickly. I just followed not wanting to have to wait another minute for one of them to get up.
We were at the car in a matter of minutes, our speed much faster than before. When we were safely on the road I decide to ask.
“How did you…”
“Don’t ask.” Saul interrupted. His eyes remained on the road. I continued to look at him waiting for him to glance over. He did as I predicted. His eyes were golden and shimmering.
“Thank you.” I managed to stammer out. My eyes were filled with gratitude. My eye lashes batted, once again trying to flirt, but this time it was for a different reason. He nodded and placed his eyes back on the road.
“It’s no big deal. I did promise you that I would protect you. My enchantress” he added. I smiled gazing upon his perfect body. My hand moved over to his hair and fixed the one that had been misplaced. He smirked.
The rest of the way home was quiet. However, our eyes were telling a different story. We were constantly glancing at the other, never completely fixated. I understood how he felt because I felt the same way, confused. Yet it was a strange high. We were both contemplating whether or not we liked the other. By the end we had our minds made up.
We walked up to the front door like in the movies. It was slow and long and we both wanted to say something just we couldn’t spit it out. I somehow gained some courage to spit.
“Well thank you for tonight. I had fun.” Come on damn it say what you want to, say what your hearts telling you. I looked into his eyes, they were beautiful as always gazing back into my deep browns.
“You’re a very interesting girl. Wild, funny, and you have the worst luck in the world.” He chuckled. “I like that.”
My heart was racing. Did he mean that he was falling for me too, or did he just mean he liked my ‘personality’? Still the jitters were causing my hand to shake. I grabbed a hold of it, and stopped the shaking.
“You’re very pretty too.” He added. His eyes were now fixated on mine. I stopped breathing. I wanted to pull him to my chest a kiss him passionately. My better instinct stopped me, still I couldn’t speak.
My eyes were glued to his, unable to be separated. I was beginning to blush. He was to. I moved closer. He stepped back cautiously then moved forward as well.
I could hear both of our hearts beating rampantly, I wanted to grab him and kiss him and tare off his clothes, like I had earlier, but with much more reason. He spoke again.
“Can I ask you something?” his eyes remained the same.
“Sure,” I said breathlessly.
“Do you know how beautiful you are in the moonlight?” It wasn’t a question but a poetic, well sort of poetic, statement. We moved forward again. I could feel his warm breath on me. We were panting.
Saul took his hand and slowly put it around my waist. My arms moved as well, going around his back and up to his neck. I could fill a chill, but a good chill, an exquisite chill running down my spine.
His face came towards mine, his perfect face coming closer and closer. His lips were beautiful, and his eyes were sparkling in the dim light.
He stopped. I waited my eyes widened. His hand fell from my waist and he backed away. I felt a tear in my eye.
“I really like you Sidda, but I’m not ready quite yet.” He said solemnly. There was a pause. My courage came somehow, even though my heart was a little more broken.
“I like you to Saul.” I finally admitted.  His eyes were sorrow filled. I waited for a moment deciding what to do.
Saul moved forward again and kissed me on the forehead.
“Like is an understatement.” He said soothingly. I looked in his eyes again. They were beautiful and even more gorgeous. I stared at him for a while and then retracted myself.
He unlocked the door. I walked up the stairs to my room tears streaming down the side of my face.
“Good night.” I heard him whisper behind me. I entered my room and ran to my bed.
“He likes me, I should be happy.” I thought telling my self how impudent this was. The tears still came even more agonizing. I knew why I was crying and there was no way to stop it. When he saw me, Saul still saw Luciah. I cried myself to sleep, tears staining my beautiful dress.