She is perfection
You only met her tonight,
but you know she will be yours.
late night, new york is wide awake
and you watch her full lips part
to take in the beer you paid for.
Her eyes smile as she speaks to you,
her legs cross...and uncross nervously.
shes so smart, you cant help
but hang on her every word.
You share a cab with her,
she wants to share the night with you.
and you watch her full lips part
to reveal a devilish smile.
Damn sexy...
you show her into your apartment
the smell of her brings vivid fantasy,
you breathe it in fully.
"This is my first time" she tells you
"Having sex with a...?" you ask
You watch thoes full lips part...
"no" she interrupts, "Robbing a woman"
A hard blow takes you into the dark
When you wake, it is day, and she is gone.
You don't care what she took,
She is perfection.
you only met her last night,
but you know she will be yours.
A contest entry
- a dirty-pretty contest by Immortal Obscurity.
875 points, ended October 5, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Be Honest
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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What an interesting take on your chosen subject! I thought that, surely, this was going to turn into full-blown erotica, but I was pleasantly-surprised when it didn't.
My only qualm was this line here:
"You watch thoes full lips part" ["thoes" should be "those"]
Making robbery into an erotic-thriller is a difficult task, but you have done it, and well. Thanks for entering!
Laura, aka Immortal
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I think that this was just very cool. I think you have a great mind for stories and that this one--yet again--proves it. I think you have a talent for just about any genre and you should delve more into your thriller mind. I think you would have a great story and/or poem if you did so.
May you meet your stories and find them as intriguing as I find them. I bet you will, but you need to find that out yourself. Dream about your stories.
ROCK ON, Amber, and never stop writing this as well as you do... because your talent shines through and through. -
Wow.........
This is long but really good
Keep writing
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wow!! thats good it had me on edge the whole way.
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Wow. That is very beautiful. You did such an incredible job with the prompt. I love the imagery and the last few stanzas were a shocker. Incredibly beautiful.
Best of luck in the contest.
Write on.
~*~SP~*~
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thats pretty wild baby thats freakin sexyy, rawrrr!..
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twisted-i like!!
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