~*~
raking post-summer
children jump in brilliant hues
bronze maple, falls late
~*~
Author notes
A traditional western 5-7-5 Haiku
Subject: Autumn
Some things I will look for while judging:
I must recognize autumn in the 1st line.
No upper case at all.
Few if any filler words.
A set up and an aha moment. see http://allpoetry.com/assignment/show/109
A contest entry
- Autumn Haiku 5-7-5 by piccola.
600 points, ended September 29, 2008, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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This is a beautiful haiku, but I'm looking for the aha moment or surprise. The leaf falling late isn't doing it for me somehow...I guess I want something less subtle; something that jumps out and says, "boo" lol. thank you for entering.
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Reminds me of my love for autumn and jumping in leaves, in just a few brief lines! Well done!
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This is wonderful. I miss when my sone was small enough to hid like a pixie in the pile and leap and shriek when he saw me. The imagery and brevity breathtaking.
Love, Tom B.
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a beautiful write . . well done as always . . liked "raking post-summer" and "children jump in brillant hues" . . good luck in the contest !!
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I love this!!!
SO beautifully done, Bro
You always leave one in awe...
Lynda
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