It was you that said goodbye. Love was set aside.
We were too different and our worlds would collide.
You had a disparate vision. You wanted the gold ring.
You convinced yourself that our love was just a fling.
I see through the regrets to where the pain resides.
I see the longing glances. It’s too late our love has died.
The hearts that have been broken, the eyes that cried,
are all in the past. There no future for us now.
We’ll go our separate ways and survive somehow.
I still see through the regrets to where the pain resides.
Author notes
Prompt: Lyrics
"Who's gonna call on Sunday morning?
Who's gonna drive you home?
I just want one more chance
To put my arms in fragile hands."
-from Paperthin Hymn by Anberlin
Picture Credit: http://xxxpain-of-bloodxxx.deviantart.com/art/heart-broken-72185050
10 lines
A contest entry
- PIF 10 poets 10 lines lyrics contest by trinajean.
600 points, ended September 25, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Critical Comments Always Welcome but I Won't Turn Down Fluffy One's Either :D
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
-
-
this was great!
I loved the imagery you used!
Well Done!
-
wow just love this picture! This is such a sad write but soooo goood. I feel emotions just rolling off of here. Great job!
-
It sounds both bitter and sad. I've been there before too. Just a question, what does it mean by "You wanted the gold ring."? That sounds like he wants a wedding band, but then why would he convince himself that you two's love was a fling? Sorry, I don't quite understand that one part. Other than that, I really like the emotion in the poem
-
-
Really, it was an allusion to her wanting material things... as in the gold or brass ring that used to be associated with carousels... (probabaly before your time
) So, instead of staying for love - she opted for material wealth and to assuage her conscience, she convinced herself that love she had wasn't real. Never been there myself but it was my read on the lyric prompt... thanks for the read and comment...
Ken
-
-
This poem has this teenage feel to it, and I love it. A great poem to the prompt.
Best of luck in the contest
-
Tremendous expression and very personal. I can feel where this one comes from. It's something reminiscent of my own experiences.
Adding your comment:
1 - 7 of 7
