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Peep hole

looking through
blurry, circular depth
of a peephole.

your shining face
slightly distorted
waiting.

brown door opening
removing your face
from the awkward tunnel
placing it instead
into my bright world.

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • The Poetic Bandits gold member
    September 28, 2008

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    Bandit Appreciation

    Thank you for this wonderful entry to the reading list your participation is appreciated!

    The Poetic Bandits


  • Polaja Greeters member
    September 28, 2008

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    This is a breathtaking poem I love the simplicity of the wording that opens such a depth of feeling beautifully done and very much enjoyed!

    Keep writing

    Polly


  • Haiku-bless-you silver member
    September 28, 2008

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    This poem is written from an interesting perspective, curiosity is shared by us all. Good progression from the distance to the immediate vicinity, it is like a camera shot that starts with a long distant view and slowly brings the main subject in real close. Very nice!

    Dennis


  • grannyeri gold member
    September 26, 2008

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    Simply stated; happy to finally see this person, not just through the peep hole, but in person. Easy to read and understand what is being said in these lines.


  • ml12
    September 24, 2008

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    I love the simplicity and novelty of the idea. The ending was lovely and I enjoyed the journey, however short it was. Cheers


  • Twinstar
    September 23, 2008

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    When you focus on something that means somthing to you, it easily comes into your view. Great work! Great imagery, and a short and sweet piece!

    Love & light
    Debbera


  • RatherImaginative silver member
    September 22, 2008

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    I like the imagery you've used here. It's natural, when viewing the world fearfully through a hole, that the faces of others are distorted. The message of your piece is very well communicated.


  • ZachP gold member
    September 22, 2008

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    how simple and beautiful. There is something about this that I, simply, love.

    thank you for sharing


  • Manda Kathryn Greeters member
    September 22, 2008

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    Creatively strong, you have created the visual easily for the reader.

    Very unique and original this was a joy to read
    Best of luck!

    Stay safe
    ~Manda


  • Kathleen a Nazarene
    September 21, 2008
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    Wow!

    This is great! So wonderfully descriptive & visual. I could really see this & it's such fun! Seeing a familiar friend's face & welcoming them into your life! This just made me feel very warm & in anticipation of a friend 'home health aide' who'll be returning after 7 weeks of disability leave! Yippee! Sure you'll do well in this contest! Original approach...

1 - 10 of 10