Rocking back and forth
This is my time
Tears and fears,
I unwind
Layer by layer
Vine by vine
This is my time,
to unravel what is still divine
Tasted a memory
that would have become reality,
again
Denial,
the only real sin
I watched hell burn,
on Rockefeller's lawn...
and David hid in a pumpkin
You can't see the lies
then stop - and close your eyes
Free your mind and you open up the skies
Feel your pain and you open up your heart,
again
We need love,
if were ever going to see,
a mad world sane
We need love,
if you want to see truth reign
You cannot watch the lies,
and stand by as her soul dies
Layer by layer
Vine by vine
This is my time,
to unravel what is still divine,
within and above
Long lasting,
penetrating,
breath taking,
l o v e
whats going on in your portals girls and boys?
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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S.M.F.
At a loss for words.
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You manage to work hope into the darkness, I like that. Nicely written.
"We need love,
if were ever going to see,
a mad world sane
We need love,
if you want to see truth reign
You cannot watch the lies,
and stand by as her soul dies"
These are my favorite lines, this is so true.
You are very talented.
Kelly
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I liked the feeling to this poem. My favorite part was "We need love,
if were ever going to see,
a mad world sane"
The poem has a really quick flow here. I thought this was such a beautiful thought, and maybe it could use more emphasis, like starting a new stanza right after that line. -
Nice!
You've shown great creativity and imagination in this wonderful piece. The words flowed very smoothly. The repetition was also very effective. Well done! -
This is a very delicate read, like layers of tissue on an antique frock, I wanted to peel them off slowly inccase I broke something. Fabulouse imagry too littlefishone
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You have written something completely out of left field here and I like it, you write with a certain truth here that can't be denied. Best to you
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By far out of all the many fine lines in this piece,
My favorite is....
Denial,
the only real sin..
...and my I say before forgetting,
the beginning is genius
Rocking back and forth
this is my time
tears and fears,
I unwind
layer by layer
vine by vine,
this is my time,
to unravel what is still divine.
It had an actual sensation to it.
The second stanza beacons the reader to the thought that the writer may be an ancient spirit that has witnesses's events that happened long before any mortal may live.
That entire stanza is full of imagery and glowing wonder.
The end leans into sexual overtones to bring the point home in an articulate and artful manner.
The genius in that is...get the message out...grab their attention...cause if we don't listen to the message in this piece and turn things around...well it ain't pretty.
One good person could change the world,
if we all start to believe that,
Then what a wonderful world
this would be.
Come on people now,
Smile upon your brother,
everybody get together,
try to love one another
right now.
LOWELL.
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I like the way it has a rythm that flows very freely.
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First off let me say that I just loved the background. And the poem... well it is definitely an interesting write. Loved the way you kept using the same phrase over and over again. It really worked for this poem.
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Yes, we need love. Nice flow, lyrical poem.
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Amazing
This entire thing is absolutely breathtaking. The middle stanzas are my favorite. I feel this poem so much, like a dream of a perfect world. We really do need love. This poem is absolutely perfect. Excellent job.
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Amazing. The end was my favourite, and I completely agree to some extent with the theme of this poem. There must either be mass hate, or mass love.
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wow! i loved the ending, very powerful, and the background is pretty too =)
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Amazing
I enjoyed this poem and the colors and background gave it extra depth.
I epsecially liked "We need love,
if were ever going to see,
a mad world sane
We need love,
if you want to see truth reign "..because this is the answer to our world affairs and ending war. I thank you for sharing. Your work shows a warm and embracing love for life.
Jen
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