Sadistic and neurotic,
old Procrustus was psychotic;
so, he cringed at the form
of anyone who passed along.
The Athens road he’d scupper
weary souls he'd take to supper.
Then, he’d give them a bed
that was too short or much too long.
With ropes he’d come a’creeping
when he knew that they were sleeping,
securing them with knots
so he could make their bodies fit.
The tall ones he’d start hacking
'til their length would match the racking.
He'd stretch apart the short,
with heavy anvils ‘til they’d split.
Procrustus knew no pleasure,
much less any rhyme or measure.
His faith had blindly quenched
all blessed gifts that knit us whole;
and, left to just his theories
that he’d unpacked out of series,
he hated all of life
including his pathetic soul.
That form is elemental,
and in ways so transcendental
for beings who create
seems very obvious to see.
When dew-drops on a lemon
shine like stars from up in heaven,
young Theseus has cleared
our Athens road to reverie!
Author notes
Procrustus: In Greek mythology, Procrustus (the stretcher), also known as Damastes (subduer) and Polypemon (harming much), was a bandit from Attica. He had his stronghold in the hills outside Eleusis.
Theseus: The young warrior who finally killed Procrustus as his last test on the road to Athens to see his father.
Please be honest and open.
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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Interesting
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Outstanding
This flows very well with strong rhyme. I liked how you told a story even if it is a little grusome. It is difficult to suggest areas for improvement as it is well-written and there are no obvious areas that need to be patched up. Another excellent poem.
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it was very nice
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A lovely interpretation of the greek myth, but the rhyme does seem a little pushed... still, it does contribute to the slightly uneasy feeling caused by the first two stanzas.
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Amusing, informative, and interesting write. The rhyme did seem a bit forced in places tho. The following I thought to be great imagery..."When dew-drops on a lemon
shine like stars from up in heaven". The lemon; is that an intrinsique reference to Procrustus's tale or just poetic brilliance of your own device?
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excellent
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Excellent
Thanks for the history lesson. I really like this one.
imagery, rhythm and rhyme are just fine. Again, well done. -
Greek mythology always did interest me, and this poem did more than that. With a very vivid image of Procrustes and his epic tale, and the meaning that the poem gave out, I was at once captivated. Keep up the good work!
. Rewarded 4
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what a stellar tale and im glad i never stayed at his hotel
your rhymes are amazing in this and even though the visuals are gruesome the poem has such a lyric quality
When dew-drops on a lemon
shine like stars from up in heaven,
i love this visual best because nobodys getting hacked or stretched and stuff
wonderfully penned!
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Very cool!
I really enjoyed this creative piece. I studie Greek mythology many years back in HS and this is a new one for me. Wonderfully done. Good luck in the contest. It's a winner in my eyes! -
Incredible
You have done a great job rendering this old tale into poetic form. It is both haunting and shocking.
Great job.
Mike
. Rewarded 4
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A fine write about Greek mythology
Of course there was a meaning behind this myth
Well done
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This aroused my courisety. Is it myth or fact? I hope its only a myth, but am worried its a fact. I get a scary feeling from these lines... Good luck in the contest
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Not to worry ...
... it's a myth (smile).
Warm regards,
Sultan
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Clever...
I so enjoy your viewpoints, thanks for sharing
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What an AWESOME first entry!
This is actually a mythological character I've never heard of --- so it was a lesson and a great read! I love how obviously knowledgeable you are, and how much attention you paid to details in this.
Wonderfully written!!! The sporadic slant rhyme is incredible!
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