Listless drops like conformity
slipping through the cracks of
soft fingertips; deliberate- dipping
their fragrance to pollute the
inevitable truth that our minds are empty.
Hollowed out by preferred mediocrity;
we surrender our originality because it
is easier to be someone different...
I open my face to reveal a crinkled
shelter beneath my outright catastrophe-
but the sallow breath countered in the
directions of my courted screams falter;
I am just another casualty to the modern sale
of motivation.
Author notes
10. dreams for sale
In a list
A contest entry
- Do You Have An Interesting Mind? by SomeGirlYouKnew.
1850 points, ended October 4, 2008, 24 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Leave me thoughts:
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Really great write.
Congrats on the gold!
-
"the modern sale of motivation" - well said.
Individuality is often not well received and takes courage. But some of us can't help having minds of our own. Your write made me think about all that.
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This poem is really deep and gets to the point quick. I like how you get your thoughts across then add some in there; I do think you could have changed some of the words around to send it home more. I am confused about one thing though; wouldn't surrendering originality make us the same as every perfect robot society wants us to be?
Anyway don't get me wrong this was an amazing poem. Really made me happy to read it (I'm always bitching about conformity with my friends) I'd say good luck in the contest but I think you got this covered.
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this took a few reads to fully grasp.
i like the depth this poem offers.
good luck in my contest.
p.s. its weird because your second stanza is EXACTLY what i was talking about with my boyfriend when you entered this poem. -
Oh my god.
I couldn't pick out my favorite lines because there are just too many.
You better win
♥
-Mary
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