while you sleep…
I sit fluid on the edge
of the bed
having no place to go
thinking…
how,
will I ever be able,
to leave you now?
…knowing
how much,
you love me
Author notes
emotions
A contest entry
- Make Me Feel! by Walking Oxymoron.
450 points, ended September 30, 2008, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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well, one thing is I can feel the deafening silence, maybe it's just me...
and this line made such an impact to the silence
how,
will I ever be able,
to leave you now?
…knowing
how much,
you love me
and again deafening...the silent scream of the heart.
Sorry this is how it got me. truly it is heartwrenching, the feeling of being trapped
Thank you for sharing this.
-
Wow...
This works. And it resonates with what's going on with me right now...
This is amazing. A visual representation of feeling.
I love it. -
-
thank you...
yes you wanted to feel...
as i feel
-
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a heart wrencher...
something you are good at
doing to this reader, but
i keep coming back for more
love, lane
-
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honestly...i really don't understand why you read my stuff...it's nothing like you wright and pick in your contest...most here like poems packed with metaphors...my writings are with simple words emotive,profound and relative...not many consider this poetry, and i feel the end near...iv'e grown weary...i am...honored by your visits, always
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excellent
Oh Mally
This is so very tender sweet and loving...
Hopefully you won't have to leave the bed except to go to work
Best of luck in the contest....
Miss talking to you will give you a call soon promise
Hugs n love
Your lil sis
Susan~~~
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