You can claudicate me downhill
to your level of bemusement
& leave your fingerprints on my face
where a grin is convincingly drawn
with a dull-like colored pencil
until this concealment can be permanently replaced
i.
[don’t surround me with what I’ll never endure;]
as I nervously sink
under the lavender sheets
I attempt to rest these unconquerable thoughts
of delusional extravaganzas
& images of you
forcing your arms around my waist
but something flickers in my industrious mind
like a lightbulb gaining illusive electricity
the battery fluid is on low
& I have no strength to recharge
ii.
[but you preclude to let me be;]
we're caught in the center of gravity
of an enraptured magnetic field
the force exerted from our hearts
[was a contradicted lust from the very start]
you drilled me straight into the ground
it didn't matter if you smothered me with pain
iii.
[selfishly, I requested you to be around;]
but please
all I ask is for you to listen
to the words I've immensely rehearesed
for your simplisity to condone
I've bowed down to your needs
& I recklessly left my soul on display
though it's best that I'm let down now
before my pillow absorbs my secrets
while I exclaim each beat
my heart cautiously strums
& anoxia crawls within my lungs
I want to comprehend
that one out of sixty seconds spent with me
you could grasp the attraction there
or maybe
I've become tired
of forcing myself to believe
that you actually care;
iiii.
[so why not pretend a little more;]
I'll just fold my arms
& show you how it feels
to be absent-minded & nirvanically ignored
let the wick of the candle burn
as it represents how committed you really are
to better the situation
it's a complex chain reaction when I'm with you
either our fingers are intertwined
or I'm biting my nails
as the tears build like brick walls
behind my hazel eyes;
but I'm just a postage stamp
on an overused envelope
sent back when you've had your fulfillment
& in your arms
when love isn't in your favor
& life doesn't go your way.
♥
Author notes
haha sorry i changed my title;
i liked this one better =P
Photo Credit: SAY SOMETHING 4 by ~Enutpnut
A contest entry
- Teddy Bears and Sweet Tea - Like Americana At Noon by lowercase prelude.
3050 points, ended October 5, 2008, 16 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make me smile, make me gape with awe.[prewrites!] by Rizzie.
425 points, ended October 1, 2008, 10 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
feedback would be greatly appreciated :D
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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such strong feelings in this! thanks for the entry and best of luck!
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oh a fantastic take on the promt your imagery is completely wonderful in eace stanza and the last three lines of the last stanza are wonderful good luck in the contest
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OMGGG
Ohkay, hoe, for fawking real, HOW DO YOU WRITE LIKE THIS ?!?!? Ilovedthis<3333333333333 Likealot. :] The title in itself was just simply amazing && perfect for laying out your story. Your metaphors were beyond amazing...
~leave your fingerprints on my face~
Oh god, that make me shiver, no lie. I don't know why..those were some really powerful words.
~the battery fluid is on low
& I have no strength to recharge~
Hah. What an incredible metaphor to describe how drained you truly are from trying to figure him out. Kudos to you for being MY BRILLIANTLY FANTABULOUS SMART BFF
~I've bowed down to your needs
& I recklessly left my soul on display
though it's best that I'm let down now
before my pillow absorbs my secrets~
Gawdd. I don't even know what to say -- your writing leaves me speechless. You.write.so.beautifullyyyyy.
~but I'm just a postage stamp
on an overused envelope
sent back when you've had your fulfillment~
And of course, definitely some of my favorite lines right thereee. Another perfect metaphor to portray how you're being used, in a sense, and you don't even have to be in a relationship to feel taken advantage of or worthless. *sigh* At least his good characteristics outweigh the bad, I believe, lol
Go wherever your feelings take you my love and I'll be there all the way!<333333
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Wow. I'm literally laughing out loud at the complete ridiculousness of your talent. I don't know what to say this time other, than I liked this just as much as the last.
"though it's best that I'm let down now
before my pillow absorbs my secrets"
=my favourite part. Referring to tears perhaps? I love all the comparisons and symbolism in this piece. Amazing.
Tal.
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Wow thank youuu
I'm glad you like mah poems
I'll have to read more of yours soon<3
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So, this pretty much explains a situation I'm in. Your word use was fantastic. You're an amazing writer! Good luck. <3
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Thank youuu
♥
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It's okay that you switched prompts
Your imagery and word usage are beyond stunning. You are a remarkable writer and your skill has definitely been put on display here, tackling this prompt.
Very well done -
Your language and figures of speech just blew me away. Great write
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lol
well thanks
i try to be as creative as possible -
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well they're creative as can be :]
i actually used one of them that you gave to me in a message. haha -
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lol
that's awesome
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