“Only the finest sir,
hand-made sir,
no sir, they're feathers.
Yes, India, how did you know sir?
Her, sir?
Someone special sir?
Thank you sir,
It'll be $35 sir.
Careful sir!
An occasion sir?
Sir, I understand.
Why, sir?
Dreams are priceless sir.
Yes, ironic isn't it sir?
Wish her sweet dreams sir!”
Author notes
Dreams for sale
Any grammar errors?
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Hmm.
I agree with somegirlyouknew.
Also, it could be stretched out some, if that makes sense.
Good luck in the contest.
-Rainbow -
it's different and interesting...and yeah may be if you removed some of the sirs it might read better even though I've seen vendors who say sir every time they say something
interesting last four lines.
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this is interesting.
it wouldnt hurt for the idea to be a little further developed.
good luck in my contest. -
The one doing the selling is being very unctious, if you ask me. I see the effect you were trying for but it's kind of distracting. Too many sirs here; a few less would be better, in my opinion.
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