illusions,
masquerading as the sunlight,
we gravitate toward their truth, hiding in the fog
your love once flowed
like promises over full riverbanks,
now it stalls in the puddles of survival
my belief is suppressed,
the smoke rises from my freshly burnt hope,
and my reflection in the mirror has been shattered
Author notes
3. Smoke And Mirrors
In a list
A contest entry
- 40 song titles. by etoile.
600 points, ended September 29, 2008, 35 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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this was a great piece. the imagery was beautiful. i realy loved the wording and everything about this.
one problem though is that the title is 'smoke and mirrors' so i'd prefer you use that instead of 'illusions through the smoke and mirrors'
the first stanza was beautiful.
thanks for entering
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very nice i really enjoyed this write it was great keep up the grat work.
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I really liked the simile and metaphor in:
"your love once flowed
like promises over full riverbanks,
now it stalls in the puddles of survival"
Good luck!
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I think this is very beautful. It makes me wonder why you're soo after my words when yours are just as amazing [if not more]
Just .. one word. "fogginess" just sounds a bit awkward. It could be just me [and most likely is just me] But I thought I'd pretend to be constructive evry once in a while
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I agree, I edited it, tell me if you think that line's better please. thank you
and thank you, you're too kind
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much better. The judge doesnt know poetry if you dont get a placing.
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this is excellent!!! You did a fantastic job with this!! I love every single part of it. I especially love the line your love once flowed like promises over full riverbanks, now it stalls in the puddles of survival. Its perfect. LOVE IT!!!
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