A faded leather notebook filled with lines he'd never read
Was never far away from where he slept
The book that she had written since her love was but a seed
A book so full of her he always wept
She never let him read it and he teased her every day
But now he held her poems as he missed her every way
Each page is filled with all her hopes her love and yes her dreams
Each verse is filled with him in every line
His life is now an ancient suit that's split in all the seams
Each day another step on his decline
She was the only reason that he woke up every day
The woman that he loves and now he misses every way
He tried to read the sonnets that his son said were so sweet
But never could he read beyond the first
For all the lines were tortures his endurance could not meet
With every word he thought his heart had burst
She had written in the notebook at the end of every day
And her poems are the loving that he craves in every way
And now the leather notebook lies there clasped in lifeless hands
He'll never read the verses of her heart
But his mourning son beside him has a soul that understands
His father never had the strength to start
He will treasure all the poems that were written every day
They're the story of his parents whom he loved in every way
In a list
A contest entry
- Prewrites by Sandra R Reynolds.
400 points, ended November 2, 2008, 14 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Rhymed prewrites only ... by ecrivain01.
750 points, ended November 14, 2008, 61 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - beyond sad... make tears... beyond happy... make me jump by poemsforfaith.
650 points, ended July 5, 18 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - feelings by LunaBaby1414.
480 points, ended November 10, 13 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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i really like this. very good word choice.
thanks for entering the contest
lun -
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*luna
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i cried, its so powerful
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Poignant and very well written. Spot-on meter and beautiful rhyme. I like the story as well. This piece justifies all the shinies it has been awarded.
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Too good to re-read
If music soothes the savage beast, it is just as well that he can't read. Your poem would melt his stoney heart completely. I loved it but will find it hard to read again as it touched me deeply
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Wow, this is amazing. I love it. It's so soft and gentle and yet still draws youin and will not let go. Great write. This is yet another amazing piece. Thank you for sharing.
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oh my, this was so sad, and what a great ending. Ah, just excellent..
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such a sad yet beautiful piece. hopeful i guess in a way that he will be joining his true love and that love can last through anything. this is absolutely gorgeous, it makes me feel so many different emotions... i read this piece three times and each time could see something new in it
hugs,
georgie,
xxx
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oh wow .three trophies well.
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made me cry
Oh dear Jeff I have tears in my eyes. I have written many poems about my hubby but he has never seen or read them
His life is now an ancient suit that's split in all the seams. That is so descriptive of the situation. My hubby is 9 years my senior so I fear it will be me in this position and I do mean 'fear' he is also my reason to get up every day
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dang
wow just wow i love reading ur poetry every time i c one with ur name i click because all are wonderful n this one is no exception besides being exceptionally good lol again i love it u need to start public posting
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wow, this is amazing the emotion in this is so raw, so painful, it brought tears to my eyes, a brilliantly well written piece, I don't know what else I can say to this amazing piece
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Excellent
Great story well told.
Chris
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Excellent
Ah, indeed, 'tis another fine write, from you most talented pen, my friend. Imagery; rhythm and rhyme are fine. Thanks for sharing this one with us. -
Every time I read your poems im blow away by the emotions that you can create in me
its so beautiful and a wonderful if sad story, congratulations on the trophys they were well deserved x
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i read it and enjoyed it
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I like it , it has a spin to it
Cause its a poem your telling but inside that leather notebook is another, and its always interesting like when someone dies to go back in that family members writings and read there thoguths and storeis to get another perspective, then you have your son's perspective of sonnets which is my favorite part of poem like this it has differant angles that leav you wondering. May I ask how many poems are like this of yours?
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Wow, very powerful, I could feel every line. Very nice!
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Very nice
Excellent rhythm and rhyming, as always. I enjoyed the complexity of emotions reading this poem evoked.
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very nice I liked it alot. keep it coming
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The rhythm and rhyme in this poem are good, this is an impressive form you have written in. You used pretty colloquial wording, so it is easy to understand. But it didn't transmit the feelings I wanted for my contest. I guess it didn't reach the depth of feelings that I think would be fit on such a subject.
But that's just my opinion.
Well written
Maria
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Wow!
This is such a sad poem. I love how you describe her love in her poetry. I think for most poets reading their work is like taking a glimpse into their thoughts, heart, and soul. Very beautiful write!
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The end of the first line, I first read the read as the one that sounds like red, rather than reed, so it didn't rhyme when I found the seed, and then I had to start again. No problem.
'her hopes her love' - you reall do need the comma in there for punctuation accuracy!
Lovely to read. This is sad, yeah. Not the right kind of sad, but I don't expect any of them to be, so you really should write me a new one.
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I just noticed that i had commented on this before When i was not allowed to give applause No matter i enjoyed it so much the first time that another read was always going to be worth while
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The fact that this wonderful book of love was never read only adds to the poem.
For it truly shows just how much love there was not being able to get past the first line because of the pain of loss
A wonderful poem I can see why it collected its awards and got so many comments
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Sadness!! BUT IT IS SO GOOD!!!!
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I have such a lump in my throat, and trying not to cry. Its a truly amazing write and I love it, for all its beauty and pain.
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OMG IT SENT CHILL THRU MY SPINE. . . Absolutely AMAZING.. LOVED IT.. Wow.. Never read such a piece of poem . . . Its wonderfull i just can't stop READING IT.. MASTERPIECE
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Nicely done! I do my best to rhyme as well. I appreciate others who also have the ability, and you do so very well. I also felt moved by the last two lines. All in all very well done. GET READY FOR THE BUNNIES!!!!!!!
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Breathtaking. What a beautiful write! It looks as though other people thought so too, hence all the trophies. You have real talent.
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This was heart breakingly gorgeous. It was just one of those poems that.....is full of emotion and imagery. You have great talent. This is just beautiful.
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this gave me chills and goose bumps. congratulations on the trophies you have earned. very well deserved. viyanna rosemarie
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i love it.
this was a great poem.
the last stanza was deffinitely my favourite.
it was a great ending.
and i adored the story to it.
i must admit, i nearly shed a tear.it was sad, but not in an overly depressive way.
well done.
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This is very good.
The rhyme scheme really tied it all together very well.
I like it a lot, thanks for sharing.
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...i remember reading this some time back. I'm here again today and it is just as brilliant second time round.
Nice. -
Very sad story told in great form!
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this is horribly sad it's like i can feel the loss and pain too. beautiful write fantastic
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This was a heartbreakingly beautiful write... thankyou so much for sharing.
Keep up the great work and I wish you all the best!
Maria
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I try to never weep at work, and yet with my own mum getting older [83 currently] and my Dad passed since 2001, this brought tears to my eyes. Not just for the memories of my Dad and the love they shared... but also for the sheer beauty of the piece. So, thank you.
Write On!
jIM
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): i enjoyed reading this, i could picture everything inside my head. "Each verse is filled with him in every line
His life is now an ancient suit that's split in all the seams" Ugh.. lost for words. Very well wrote, and very creative. Thanks for entering.
*perfectly imperfect&*
Mashellmacabre -
I love it absolutely amazing it seems so realistic and the emotions were so powerful good job
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I really do not find this evocative of sadness.
It does manage to avoid cliche: for
That we may feel gladness. But the basis for all this madness
Nonetheless is so bourgeoise, its so far,
So bad, be reflected in the reader, which is more than
Plaid, which dead men do not wear, and I did not care, too, when
It was told to me repeatedly there were something we
Call love, with the revelation of an
Offspring who had risen above such that it were but wee,
A minor addition which demands, on
Examination, more explanation than Rip Van Winkle
Having married and reproduced an intrusive son full
Of ideas that got juiced more loosely than an orange van
Driver on a bender: I really do
Not know if to mortician they did send her, whose hands
It were that lifeless clasp, judging by two
First lines and the past tense strength which in ultimate lines stands;
Nonetheless, the use of Form is great to see, and it may
Simply be me who feels no sadness on going away.
Master Anarchy
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very good
She lives on... -
(Did I ever tell you this is probably your best poem ever, by the way?)
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Yes actually and added you liked the old suit line
It is one of the three or four poems of mine I am properly proud of, so thank-you. I think I regard "The moon" as my best but maybe that's because if I was only allowed one poem in the world it would have to be a love poem
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You are very good at these emotional, rhyming story telling writes. Well worthy of all the hoopla, great job.
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The imagery in this poem blows me away. It is so specific yet so open to interpretation. You really are a great poet. You told a story with this poem that can be interpreted and understood in a unique and personal way by anyone who reads it.
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This is an amazing write. I have a scene playing in my head when I read this. It's beautiful.
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Beautifully Poignant...
Congratulations on the trophies won, and thank you for sharing. Peace always, xx Cyn 
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Oh my
I wasn't expecting that ending. This is so beautifully penned. A very moving story indeed. *Sigh* This brought a lump to my throat.
A stunning read.
Gaylene
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*sniff sniff* i read this the other day and had to come back and leave a comment. There's really nothing else to say that hasn't been said before me but know that you touched my heart with your words.. beautiful
Love,
Stacy
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I cried
That was increadible...
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Very beautiful indeed - touching. No wonder you won a gold with this one. Great job!
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This was one of those
moments you just need to pause..
and nothing absolutely nothing is around you
to change what is understood between your soul
and your heart.
Thank you,Such a lovely write.
Love Peace
campanaro
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Very interesting how the poems rhythm just pulls you right along even if the sadness of the work makes you want to stop. Then there is the story; and it is such a good one: one of the love between two people; that unfortunately fewer and fewer seem to be able to relate to in a world where people lock out such love with their reservations for lust, and contentment for greed. Sincerely, Tony ¦:¬{
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Wow very touchin
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A very well-written and powerful poem.
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Such a moving story and the poem was pure magic. Your rhyme and rhythm are perfect and the repetition of the end lines kept me coming back to the central theme. It was emotionally draining, it made me want to weep.
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This is one of the most beautiful poems ive ever read.. i loved it.
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Thank-you
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This poem does not surprise me I knew that as soon as i saw your name that i would be in for a treat
I have no idea how i have missed this one Being on my favorites list i should have read it before now.
Better late than never is the word
I am so pleased that it reached the Spotlight ( where it deserves to be) It can only introduce more people to a very fine poet
Excellent seems to short a word to give i praise but i guess it will have to do
Excellent
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When real words don't cut it, make up some new words. Excettively Stupenditremendous might work.
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Beautiful.
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Absolutely beautiful. I at first wasn't going to read this poem because I usually don't read rhyme because it is always the same words rhymed all the time. But your poem striked me as being different and this was something I really needed. Excellent work. I am so very glad I chose to read. Kahy
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Beautiful flow and such flawless form...
Filled with emotion ....This is an excellent piece...
Lynda
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Surely as memorable as one of those classic films that everyone can remember their favorite scene and line. I love it in every way!
So perfect for the spotlight nomination, I am always your student and hope that I can aspire to this.
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i don't think i have the words to even describe what this poem made me feel. In one word, brilliant.
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I loved this poem it was so beautiful and emotional. It reminds me of the best friend I lost last year to a car accident.
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I loved reading this poem. It touched me. I love the rhyming and the flow of it. Nicely done.
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AWESOME!!!!!
This made me cry!!!
Kristin
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This is just so touching.
I think you have characterized him so well, his reluctance, his longing, his brokenness... and taught a beautiful lesson through the wisdom of his son, as well.
The repetition within the form serves as a really great chorus, a reminder of sorts of what has already passed.
This is a wonderful poem. I am so happy that someone featured it for you!
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Beautifully written, what a lovely poem, the sentiment comes across really well xxx
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This is so lovely, and loving. Thank you for sharing a poem with such tender and deep emotion. I enjoyed the rhyme scheme very much; I don't remember having see this form before. I also liked the repetition of words, "every day" and "every way". I think they reinforced the deep, intrinsic caring and similarities of the three people in this story.
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I have never seen another poet write in exactly this form either but the Rhyme scheme (ababcc) is Shakespeare's and the alternating 7 and five iamb lines are common so I claim no great originality
Thank-you for a thoughtful and complimentary comment.
Jeff
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This is very well written. I am glad that i decided to click on it when I did.
Each line flows so well and fits the poem perfectly. Excellent meter and rhyme as well it makes it that more inviting to the reader. great work
-deadly -
Excellent title. Outstanding use of meter and rhyme, moving story-telling.
Powerful reminder that we can leave words to lift those we love when we are separated by death.
My favorite line, "his life is now an ancient suit that's split in all the seams." Beautiful metaphor! Satisfying conclusion, that her words of love continue to bless and lift a succeeding generation.
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Wow.. I almopst cried well reading this, It really is a very meaning full poem, I love i in ever way, athough it is very sad. It proubley could relate with almost ever person alive and dead to this day. I lvoe the pieace you have created here, Keep up the good work, Never stop writting.
~ Chelsey
I only have enough points to give you two applauds athough I'd rather give you three. Sorry.
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Very well done. I've read your work before you have a gentle way with words. Happy trails.
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Amazing
This is clearly a work of genius, and I am thoroughly curious to know if you wrote this in one sitting or not. I really felt the magic that you said that journal held, and it makes me want to read it as well. Nice write and congrats on the winnings!
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love it good luck
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If one day I can write something that comes close to this in any way whether in its meter, it's rhyming or its message and emotional content, I'll feel that I've accomplished something as a poet. This piece is absolutely exquisite in every way
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you are so very kind
Thank-you
Jeff
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Rememberance brings sorrow whether it be through memories of imagery. . But in that sorrow is love waiting to be found. I loved this write
Jordan Alexander Cortney -
A sad but well writen poem. Quite emotional and a little unnerving (why I don't know). Thank you for entering my contest and good luck.
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Gave me chills....
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Exceptional
This is absolutely wonderful, so warm and wonderful.
This is a great poem.
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Thank-you, it is one I am very fond of.
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You Sir are a poet.
S.I.
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Thank-you, I know no higher compliment than that.
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Great poem... Not going to lie, this brought tears...
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what really could be better than an old leather notebook?! lovely piece
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a weird but good poem, the rhymes seem natural and not at all forced, thank you for entering and good luck
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Good Lord... another great piece....Like a corkscrew to my heart.
I often wonder what will become of all our writings and thoughts...are they penned for not...my father...a crass Irishman ...always had an expression...he said....in 50 yrs. no one will remember us and it all wont matter.
It always left me empty....hopeless...that by writing we are only entertaining ourselves...and that no one really cares...
It was me dear sweet grand-mum that told me...
son....
Write something grand,
for you may be
entertaining Angels,
Unaware.
She filled me with hope....
that one day what we write will help and comfort those who come after our days are gone.
Just wonderful my friend,
Lowell Poe.
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Beautiful... full of sorrow and love. Such touching verse. You write so very well; I could see it all, and felt it all. Beautiful.
May I have my breath back?
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this remind me of the bridges of madison county ... don't know why exactly. congrats on the gold and thank you for entering. I love seeing what brings gold in different contests
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liked the poem, especially the suit verse
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oh hon... this is so sad but an absolutely beautiful write... you have true talent thats for sure
hugs,
georgie,
xxx
ps. hubby loved it too -
I can clearly see why this won a gold trophy. What a sadly beautiful piece, it shows the way love should be, eternal. Well done and Congratulations.
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Exceptional (as previously noted!)
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