death in our living
by Darmok
1-21-04
I was certain I understood
what 'death' we spoke of.
We would love with
our all, even until
that last breath.
But death is an ugly
beast that hides
amongst the living.
A Succubus demon
that feeds not only on
our flesh, but also
on the demise of love,
our vows.
...death in our living,
our promises fade.....
remiss in our giving,
of promises made...
"until death do us part"
Author notes
This was to be a longer poem and just as I finished, it dawned on me that the last stanza captured all that I had embellished before these last strokes. Many of us have uttered these words, only to find them fade away. Yet in our living we have found that 'death', the death of love, that parting has made....(speaking of Divorce here)<<<<
"until death do us part"
What is a promise if never kept,
shallow words, possessed ...no depth.
No truer than this lover's heart,
who's love betrayed then broke apart.
A true love offered and given away,
for promises made....forever stay.
Till death do us part-
would come this day.
True lover's heart, broken 'way.
Deceit is the sharpend sword,
cuts deep a wound, a broken ford.
Defiles the words that lover's made...
death in our living...
our promises fade.
Written January 22nd, 2004
What did you think
Comments
1 - 55 of 55
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hmmm. well writtten poem .death of a relatioship is sad though yet it brings you happiness as well, happiness on the other side ...
some good things never really lasts...
nevertheless, you're a good writer!
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life
there seems to be 'new life' with this poem; a few new reads! Thank you Mea-masako for gracing my page with your generous comments.
Darmok -
good things
ah...well, I've ccome here and stayed awhile, that's been real good! thanks for your read. Darmok
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You bleed my dear friend............and your words...........much like cadmium red.......paint a picture of sadness and despair. I hope you have healed since writing this. But like the greatest of poets, you find your salvation through your words. You are a master of your own craft and destination.
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perspectives found in that light where I've never looked at and truth is founded in what is said here.
you have me thinking my friend in ways i hadn't looked at.
keep penning on one stroke at a time!
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This is just completely mindblowing....I love it....last line perfect
btw your page is awesome
T
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finding me
I wonder how these old poems get resurrected? I do appreciate your read and that you also enjoyed the poetry. I have a second here to say thanks and I hope when I'm not at work.....ahah...hem...I'll take a look at your works as well (trophy winner!you...) nice.
Darmok
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They say divorce is worse than the death of a spouse; because the divorce is rejection, the assertion that you are not worth the trouble to make the relationship work. I think it is just 2 souls in pain trying to find some relief. I think if we had more sense of community, and gave more people permission to help in our lives the rates would go down. We have forgotten how important a building block marriage is to society, and personal well being.
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I've had no personal contact with divorce, but this was a powerfully evocative read. For me, that first stanza was particularly beautiful and sad. I could feel a pang of sadness at the way the speaker 'thought they knew' and how they had clearly discovered their error the hard way.
A wonderfully crafted piece! -
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long over due
thanks for your read and wonderful comment. D
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It's strange how sadness can be so beautiful. This has such a Shakespearean feel to it.
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death in our living,
our promises fade.....
remiss in our giving,
of promises made...
I love the rhyming scheme here brough more interest and emotions
i love the drawing the drawing seemed so artistically emotionally done. I love th fade artwork with just crayons looks so close to a painting....
so emotional drawn to that line of til death do our part I see you are...I am too now am concern of tat someone must mean what they say when going to be married... Yes death is bad as what hill is but life is sad so one wants to die to go to heaven well... if they follow God then they shall be their
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Wow. I really loved this the last line was very unexpected but connected so well with the rest of the poem. This is a very insightful piece.
Your poetry is like classic poetry, from the times of poe, mixed & worded modernly. It is really cool.
Keep up the great work. Ryan.
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Great Job, loved it through and through...
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LOL ok. I'll read them ALL
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Hi! Hey, why don't you pick a lighter poem of mine for a read today! Some of those that you've read, were fresh out of the oven when I baked them.....steaming with the angst of the years before.
Yes, this year is full of 'new' things. Less time for selfish remorse, and !!! I've had enough of that. I've got another daughter in college (so empties the nest) and the daughter at home is a wonderful handful. (a junior in hs). Anyway, try "for want" or "lady of the sea", "st Kevin's church", "wind", "beauty"....or "another day"! Much lighter reading and a sampling of my diversity......yes, I have a good life thanks -D
Edited on Oct 05, 12:56 because ''. -
This is very sad. A new perspective on "Til death do us part" indeed. Divorce is never an easy thing to swallow. My situation was much different and my divorce was not nearly as painful as my marriage but I do understand your words. You certainly have a way of making your readers feel and see what you want them to. I hope life is treating you better these days.
~Lyrical
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Writing is one of the tools of sanity for dealing with such a painful subject. I've been married for almost 26 years. My marriage almost died on the rocks of divorce about 7 years ago but we managed to salvage it. Still, having come close, I feel the words. And the picture you chose was perfect.
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Excellent!
Dear Darmok, Divorce is the elected death of a relationship. Having been divorced, now a widow, I find death of a relationship by death itself a much tougher pill to swallow. There is a great sense of loss of control, different than divorce. Neither one of them are pleasant,both are equally terrible, if one party was /is still in love with the other party. After, some people make radical changes. I did upon the death of my late hubby! Both hurt! I hope your wounds heal. Takes time. I wish you the best1 Keep penning! Love, Lady Jayne -
Excellent!
Dear Darmok, Divorce is the elected death of a relationship. Having been divorced, now a widow, I find death of a relationship by death itself a much tougher pill to swallow. There is a great sense of loss of control, different than divorce. Neither one of them are pleasant,both are equally terrible, if one party was /is still in love with the other party. After, some people make radical changes. I did upon the death of my late hubby! Both hurt! I hope your wounds heal. Takes time. I wish you the best! Keep penning! Love, Lady Jayne
Edited on Jul 10, 4:37 p.m. because 'punctuation'. -
But death is an ugly
beast that hides
amongst the living.
A Succubus demon
that feeds not only on
our flesh, but also
on the demise of love,
our vows.
Those lines struck me so hard. Makes me long for something more meaningful than what my father was able to get. I'm so intent on having a home that's not divided by divorce and such that I fail to see the good that came out of it. This truly made me appreciate what my father's been through more. Beautiful.
Lotsa love..................................TerrifiedSky.
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This poem crushed me inside, at the top of my sternum so that I could hardly breathe beneath the failings of love. I had always thought that only a physical death could bring meaning to "'til death do us part" but you have shown me much more, a whole new perspective through a struggle of emotion and experience.
Thank you,
~Faded. -
Joel, this write hurt, only because I understand it so well. There are so many ways "death" can impale us, and you stated it so well. Long time no read, but I'm glad to see you again. Missed your writes! Love, light and truth!--Kel
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KV!
Wow....I've missed a few names over the years! I need to go on an Easter Egg hunt and find the gems I've missed on those pages that have missed their turn.
I have a few more minutes to see what you've been up too! -Darmok
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Dee, I appreciate the sentiment in your comments; I hear the wisdom in your acceptance.............but I find it difficult to forgive this hand that lifted the hot skillet, as its burns have ached a lifetime. Forgiving oneself may be found in retribution, become a better person, live truer to love than before. There is an open door within this heart of mine, she need only pass through again to find acceptance. What shelter can I give beyond my door's reach....she simply has walked away from home.
Edited on Mar 22, 3:32 because ''. -
You've brought a new understanding to the meaning of, 'til death do us part'. This is a most touching, gentle write, Joel. Emotions pour from every line. You've expressed what it's like to go through this experience, expressed it in a way that perhaps only those of us who have been through it, can fully understand and appreciate. Looking back.... can we help but contemplate what could have been, had we handled our lives together a little differently? Maybe, though what came after has also been rewarding.
Your poem and your comments have brought forth some feelings and thoughts from somewhere inside me, those which had been lieing dormant and forgotten. Regrets...some,maybe. But more like ... it's okay now, all is accepted, forgiveness rendered.
An excellent piece, thank you
Dee
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Tom, great comment about love, but please take a look at my comments to comments above. The premiss is 'a love has died', that should put us on the same wavelength...
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Even if we part (in death) true love withstands even that. Maybe, just maybe, there's another true love waiting for you Darmok. Death doesn't part in true love. It might even make it better, if both truly love each other. Could be. A guess on my part. No, an educated guess on my part.
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Five years later!
jaden, are you still prayen for me! True love....those words stir a voice in me....
Alas... she alludes me, and i only dream of her...
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The life we speak of here was born of friendship, hope, trust and passion that is expected to live beyond our corporeal deaths. In the beginning our love is a bud, but it grows, or is meant to, into a magnificent bloom with the scent of joy emanating from its heart. If nurtured, if fed with attention, there is nothing more lovely. But if fed betrayal, deceit, and inconsideration, it wilts. Finally, without proper attention, it will die.
This is a sad poem. I feel it with every word. Simple and wonderful.
Wonderful, Joyce -
This is a tough subject, you did it beautfully.
Red -
This was so sad and so beautiful at the same time
I guess that while physicaly death happens only once, spriritual or emotional death if you like, is a process or a collection of experiences. Bleh it made me feel sad, and by the way I love the painting 
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Geeze you gave me the chills!!!!! I love your read and 'knowing' .....a rewarding angst and sorrow for having touched its meaning, ....respect for the passage
You preened my feathers with this comment.........maybe you are a gifted empath or this was a rare moment of clarity and the words rolled on like a cinema reeling its film in black and white ....though the grays you perceived are from my pallet, and you have found my voice. -Darmok his arms open -
Is it the selfishness that tugs at us with time, saying "Look what you have missed, what you could still do, if only..." ?
Is it the boredom of having achieved and needing new frontiers?
Is it that, like days, nights and empires, love physically rises and so must fall?
I watch my parents and they are beyond this; they have moved into some friendship that includes and surpasses love. I sit back now and am so jealous that they have evaded all of the little deaths you speak of, so hauntingly; the sprung traps that have taken so many of us along the road of promises.
I choose the word 'haunting' for I feel that, for the majority of us - though we may never divorce, nor even admit it - we are haunted in our certainty of understanding "what 'death' we spoke of" with the darker "...death in our living".
A moving perception of divorce.
Excellent poem.
Best wishes,
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thanks!
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Oh my Joel , not enough room in this forum for me to really explain my thoughts , but something to the matter of " until death do us part " what is meant by that ? Is it our physical death , or maybe just the death of love .....as both seem to come unexpected and unannounced , to be grieved over and never forgotten ........therefore peacefully rest in the past without any regrets " fore I have lived and loved " And love to come anew , just like the baby that is born at the moment the old soul forever closes it's eyes , and that baby to be loved , not in the shadows of dusk , rather in the brightness of dawn where shadows have yet to form , otherwise those shadows will darken it's brightness and restrict it's growth and it's potential and it can only breathe under the weight of a metaphorical tombstone .............oh dang it , it makes sense to me ...
Reenie
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you have captured both the love and death of love in
this exquisite piece,,,,
as I have experienced both sides of this coin
I now seek only solitude for peace is so refreshing....
good luck to the future of your love
Tamara -
Daughters, it is within their smiles and our memories, that love exists, persists as fond memories of that life when love bound us to one another (husband, wife). It is their love and their happiness that keeps this heart from darker regions of soulful wanderings, wasted pinning for love lost, her death. No, she did not die, nevertheless her leaving has been as much. These fragments of timeless energies and chemical imprints surface in my dreams at times, though less frequent, both day and night, and yes, I travel back in time....only as an observer....to imagine again those days and warm nights of a body close to mine, remembering with an aching soul....what love was like ...what made her smile. Death in our living has taken that light away from her, from us.....she will never find her way home. Our daughters make it all the worthwhile, though I wish we had not failed them as parents to have guarded our love better, nourished and supported each other, been less selfish and more attentive to one another's heart cries. Hate is a tempting emotion that would seem to devour the pain, but I think it is the root of self punishment and an excuse for not dealing, not growing, wallowing in self pitty. I appreciate your expanding commentary, warm conversation Sunny. -Joel
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One concedes the existance of time. Coupled with circumstance, it does seem as if love can be poisoned, starved, neglected, abused and finally extinguished, yet does time exist, or is it just a figment of our rushing blood? There is a little part in all of us, perhaps, immune to time and circumstance that keeps that well of love safe from change. Of course, one can love and hate simultaneously which brings up other questions.
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Stars
Life abrades love so cruelly, does it not? We enter relationships trailing old hurts, desparate hungers for approval and that wonderful out of focus view of reality that "fades into the light of common day". Yet there is something indestructable about true love that, while life may make impossible to express, remains forever in your heart. Often it's masked with defensive postures which we need to survive the loss of a dream. I love your poetry,Joel. -
Thank you for that last comment! but please..................note, this is about Divorce. The dying I speak of ....is of the other's Love. If love had lasted 'until death do us part', Love would have been kept by the two. Even without their physical death, a dying so to speak, occurs when 'their love' dies...thus it is what I have stated, we feel this death in our living. Yes, I/we keep the memories (for ourselves), but for them that have let love slip from their hearts (left us), whatever vague memories they possess, fail the true test of love. It has indeed died, as if they have died, we feel the angst of our separate lives and the vaccancy left in our hemoraged hearts.
Edited on Feb 10, 6:13 p.m. because ''. -
seems like to live you have to have died at least once, to appreciate what you hold and have, and to love it for what it is, not only what it gives.
a beautiful, thoughtful piece, solemn and heavy, with a personal - yet applicable to society - view to it and a depth that leaves you wanting to explore everything. there is death in love, friendship, innocence, promises and so much more; but does it really die, if you remember and cherish the memories? It makes me think, and i appreciate poems like that, ones that convince me that I am nowhere near understanding a millionth of who I am and what I'm doing here.
simply wonderful. -
excellent
Great comments/thoughts on this controversial poem. And the poet makes us think! I truly believe there is a thin line between love and hate, and often in relationships we vacilate between the two extremes. Ah...but love is so much more than a feeling - staying connected is the key, else we experience death in our living which inevitably leaves its mark....wonderful piece! -
Fear is death..love is a neverending force.
Does one cease to love those who have broken promises? Does love stop the moment the heart feels pain caused by one who is loved? love remains, tis fear that sets in...fear then leads to other negative emotion often shrouding love, but love, in any form, is always present..tis not love that is poisoned..tis the person, themselves
thought provoking write, very well done!
much love & peace
~Pamela -
Emma, and others, just for clarification, even unintentionally, I mean no disrespect for the Love that is lasting, that continues that remains...I wholeheartedly acknowledge this love. My focus in this poem is not a criticism on Love itself, but on Promises. Promises made and promises broken. Not to repeat myself, my other additional commentary explains my view on marriage vows. I believe in them, if only though, that belief is maintained by both...so suffers the marriage where one stops believing, so begins the deceiving and love is poisoned. (married or not, love promised is, should be, an honored commitment to be cherished and savored a lifetime. My heart goes out to you Emma for your loss. -joel
Edited on Jan 23, 5:51 because ''. -
i like the metaphores you use... i think i'm much tainted at the whole idea of marriage vows. i cannot see a point to them beyond religious ceremony and isn't it time we seperate religion and law? aside from that, this whole till death do us part thing seems like an attempt to ease our insecurities about being alone at some point. i'm not saying when a relationship is hard people should just give up, but people grow and are different at different stages... monogomy in that sense may not work out for a lot of people and i think the guilt of feeling 'attached' to someone leads to a lot of dishonesty.
bah. relationships are far beyond my comprehention anyway.
really liked this.
much respect.
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I love the interest in this,.....here, death is the metaphor, and yes...most of the time for the 'One', love continues to hold onto its images and longing of what was. My comment is this, if we vowed 'until death do us part', what then has become of our love such that we cast aside these vows so easily? Have we not admitted to ourselves that though we have not died in our flesh, we have died in our living, 'no longer giving' that love in equal measure, no longer giving at all? Someone has 'lost that loving feeling', and now its gone...gone...gone....? Don't take this as having said Love is totally gone (not remembered....this in itself is different than 'being in love'), but I truely feel the death embrace of its passing, ....she no longer returns my love, her love is dead...as if we have been separated by death in the flesh, I mourn our relationship in 'this living'. Wonderful conversation Jenn
Edited on Jan 23, 5:49 because ''. -
love at its best is an alchemy of emotion, promise and sanctuary. Even so, love can be corrupted and defiled, as with anything kept or not kept, the infringement of these guarded hearts leads to an unconditional surrender liken to death; that is ....is cannot be stopped. I believe love can be poisoned, corrupted....did not Adam and Eve love their God?
Edited on Jan 22, 6:40 p.m. because ''. -
I don't believe that true love can ever die... even if you can't live together.. you still hold it in your heart... if it was real...... but then I've been divorced twice... doesn't mean my love for them is dead. I do understand you though.... and I'm listening...
love ya
jenny -
yes, these promises are fading as our love dies.
i do belive true love can die...if it is not nurtured, when is taken for granted...or when the other person in our life does everything possible (maybe not intentionally) to kill our love.
and when it is over, we are left with this void, the pain, mourning the death of what we we once had.
beautiful poem you have here Joel, you have touched deep inside, reminding us how fragile and precious love is ... truly written by a master
Edited on Jan 22, 4:08 p.m. because ''. -
thanks Joyce
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Reenie, I understand your comment and think what you relate, is a purest view on 'love', (for if we have true love, then true love will sustain...in all ways). But akin to this, so what would you say...to something almost as pure...."Friendship". Have we not lost many a friend to this or that...would we then say ..."we were never really friends ?". I think many would agree with you, but so would those who know there was love, have seen it lost......for this or that, studpid things. Shaka, when the walls fell.
Edited on Jan 22, 7:38 p.m. because ''. -
I love the message of the poem. There are so many kinds of death in life. The death of love is one of the worst. Such a beautiful emotion and expression of our spirits, beaten down to nothing. It is wicked and sad to extinguish the hope, the dreams, the trust, the friendship and the bondedness of that emotion. You understand the subject well. That is evident.
~ Joyce
*I suggest that you drop the word 'that' in the first stanza for purposes of clarity. You could then begin the line with 'We.'
Edited on Jan 22, 12:51 because ''. -
Your poem brought back many memories~
A few years ago I lost my husband and my infant son to a drunk driver~But my love for them never will die~And their love for me lives forever within my heart~Thogh I agree love and even death is liken unto a sharp sword~
This Is a very thought provking write~
Very well wrote~
Smiles~Hugs~Emma -
Due to the depth of your poems , I usually read them a couple of times as to make sure I really understood . Your words in this were really like that " sharpened sword " but I must disagree with them . Love does not die , for if it does, it never really was alive to start with .......it was a mere illusion that slowly faded away . Oufffffff , having a hard time trying to explain what I want to say , so I will stop here and hope you understand what I am trying to explain ,
Reenie/f
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