Teh rain's steady [[fall]],
ECHO'S the lies ye told.
Teh bottom less pit of my heart,
It bleeds with the *PaIn* ye caused.
I'm sick of BEING this puppet,
[[CUT]] my strings and let me fall.
All these lies ye have told,
They are suffocating me to the end.
My body is so [[weak]],
I can't possible live this through.
I need ye to be there fer me,
-BUT- ye never meant anything.
I'm [[sick]] of it all,
Ye should die fer doing this to me!
I hope ye can't sleep at night,
The thoughts of me flooding yer mind.
I hope when ye look in the mirror,
Ye cry fer everything ye have done.
I can't stand seeing ye with her,
Ye should know that I will never move on.
All these lies ye have told,
There suffocating me to the end.
My hearts beat has slowed,
My body expands my mind.
I have never felt so much pain,
Ye will never know what ye have done.
I can't see the truth behind these lies,
Ye has enclosed me in my mind.
I sit alone tonight,
Planning my last good-bye.
Teh heartache has brought me down,
My soul has hit the ground.
I can't live such a broken life,
I'm sorry my love,I [[MUST]] die.
Author notes
Either a Pretty Dirty Poem or hateful. You can choose...It could also be both.
A contest entry
- Options. Points will be added later. by Nicotine Eyes.
300 points, ended November 4, 2008, 32 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What was your first impression?
Comments
-
Opinion? Well...the use of "teh" instead of "the" really puts me off, to be honest. The poem seems rather commonplace and unoriginal. Try adding some more concrete details instead of all these abstract thoughts of sorrow

