I married him
I don’t know why…
or don’t remember.
I had dreams!
Wanted children
~~ Love ~~
and a little respect.
Lost them all!
“Stupid bitch”
He called me that…
Called me worse.
Shattered me.
I stayed years
Wasted ~ years
Believing brutal lies.
Hating life.
“Worthless, lazy”
“Fat, grotesque.”
Hurt less when he hit me.
Wanted to leave.
Couldn’t do it.
~~ Why? ~~
His words echoed!
Wanted to die!
Please God
Let me die.
No one answers.
There is no God.
Screw this.
I walk away.
Will I make it?
Who cares?
Patricia Gibson-Little
January 21, 2004
Author notes
I'm not sure if this is what you wanted... But it's want came to me.
Patti
Written January 22nd, 2004
In a list
A contest entry
- Try This For 1,000 Points by Desiree Darkk.
1000 points, ended January 28, 2004, 32 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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It takes more courage to take the first step than it does to walk the other miles.
Well done for that courage.
Jules. -
Good girl for gettin out of a bad relationship. It's enough to make you hope he spends his afterlife getting batted around for eternity--waking up every day to some huge Sumo-wrestling Samoan babe with an atitude. That sounds about right!
-
For those who wondered... yes this is a true story. And Leaving was the best thing I ever did. As I told my ex (and my sweet Joe knows) the most important thing in a relationship is not love, but respect. Before I expected it. Now I demand it. Thanks for all the comments.
Patti
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wow very heavy poem. i like the first stanza where you say you dont know why you married him. you remind me of my mom. forget him! more tragedy for your art!
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good
Well since it just came to you I'm guessing it's not a true story. But it is for some and it's a nightmare for those living with it. Or dying.
"Fat, grotesque.”
Hurt less when he hit me." Disturbing lines. I read the last lines as being utterly hopeless, as if no one cares one way or the other. Went back and read them again, took it another way. Good piece.
Desiree
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Very creative piece.
Strong emotion and powerful write.
Good luck.
Sam
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I hope this didn't actually happen..cuz if it did I'm going to have to hunt someone down and seriously, seriously kick theiir butt. I hope you do well in this contest - it was - brutally honest. The short choppy lines just made every one of them like a punch in the stomach. wonderful. sent chills down my spine
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brutal honesty, a mentioned by dusduz. like the determination at the end, dpecially as it comes after the uncertainty of the earlier lines. if it's auto biographic, i think the 'who cares' is the right way to end the pain.
-
Great!
I like this. Ver deep and honset. I felt that exact same way 4 years ago, before I got divorced. He said the same kinds of things to me. Good job! -
***
I think it fits the contest! Let's hope Desiree thinks so too. It's brutal, honest and simple to read. The thoughts behind it are profound. The only thing that might be open for debate is the 'contemporary' aspect... It's a tough assignment, good luck in the contest!
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