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swallowed

Missing image

swallowed

 

pondered presence of her pointed platitudes
beckon beneath Pueraria lobata
with her touting tendrils of tenacity
likened to my heart

sprigs of sprouting soma singing silently
‘neath her nesting nefarious nymphomany
satirically seducing in song like Sappho  
likened to my soul

a cunning, caging and consuming cocoon
like a woman who would wrap her wreath of wrath
about another as the vine that ate the South
likened to my womb

 

 

 

Author notes

Unrhymed Loose Sapphic Verse

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • Luna Tique Fringe
    October 5, 2008

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    I like this, and in the same breath it's very heavy with alliteration and I have mixed feelings about that. I'm not all that familiar with the form, but knowing your skills..I'm sure this is perfect. I like the imagery and the metaphor. Very strong ending.

    Thanks for entering.


  • Age of Rain
    September 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    'with her touting tendrils of tenacity
    likened to my heart'

    perfect and beautiful.

    'sprigs of sprouting soma singing silently' this did not come off completely naturally to me, but I do love it. 'soma' is an excellent reference.

    Overall, I found there to be excellent and intelligent alliteration in this piece. Another amazing write!


  • blueyez
    September 21, 2008

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    This form is like a tongue twister... it kinda intimidated me!!!!
    Peace and Love always


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    September 21, 2008

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    Awesome alliteration in here sis, and such powerfully used words to create the image!!

    Fantastic!


  • echo-ink
    September 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I loved the picture, that the images resemble the imagery you placed in the poem, they look almost like humanoids depicting a scene.
    This was beautiful.

    Bell,


  • Whispering Wind Moderators member
    September 20, 2008

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    BEAUTIFUL

    My beautiful daughter, gifted beyond belief, your words flow like magic and the metaphor's do dance...you have this in the bag for sure my little blue star out shines them all


  • paulcreates silver member
    September 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Wow!



    Paul


  • Rovingone gold member
    September 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    The vine that ate the south, that's good. It goes well with the smothering idea of a cunning consuming cocoon.
    An excellently executed expression of endless verve. As always a awe inspiring application of the English language. Exceptional.


  • Mairi bheag gold member
    September 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Whoof! You fairly pulled the pin out of this one, Sis. Quite impressive. Bunnies.


  • cricketjeff gold member
    September 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I like the developing final line and the meter works pretty well
    Very nicely done and well worth a Not Bad

1 - 10 of 10