The Stuff I Didn't Tell You

Your face fell
Smile drawn into a frown
I don't say it well
But I hate to see you down

And you rock
And you're cool
And you're the prettiest in school
And I wish I could say what I mean
In words that haven't already been
Spoken and battered and used overmuch
And I wish I had some
Of a seasoned lover's touch

I think sometimes
If you hated my guts
I would love you just as much

Does that even make sense?

And I wanted to wrap you in my arms, and hold you tight
(A good hug always makes my feelings light)
But I didn't think it would help, and I didn't know
If you would throw me off like I maybe deserved, so
I didn't. But I did try to show
What I ought to have said
I composed sonnets to you, in my head
Sonnets that if spoken, would fall like lead

And you're awesome
And smart
And you make breathing an art
And I'm bad at taking time
I want to tell you now
All that I would show
And show you now
All that I would tell

I met an angel the other night
We got into a verbal fight
I trumped his logic, rend and smite
But it meant nothing, nothing

And if I fail to love you or know you
And if I fail to tell you or show you
Shall we fall, wings flaming, swords ablaze?
No, not you.
You'll stand above the haze
If I retreat into taloned night
You'll stand in a flush of light
(If you want)
Or (if you want) you'll pass out of sight
And work your miracles where lives no light.

My meaning, I fear,
Will be lost in here
In the list of my crimes
And bad rhymes

Know this then, my dear
What I'd have for you here
Is no more than you'd have for yourself

I'd make no demands
Nor claim your lands
For my own;
But it's with you I'd stand
Were the last day at hand
While we waited to be carried home.