Coughing past a foil pipe,
a pale smoke fills the air,
my hazel eyes burn,
as they adjust to a lighter red.
Vision blurred,
no end in sight,
a crimson burial.
Author notes
30 word or less
A contest entry
- red. by iverbthenoun.
300 points, ended September 20, 2008, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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Tightly written, which I always admire. I'm not sure I understand the last line, but maybe I'm just a little slow.
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Another excellent response to the prompt -- the sparse lines are very powerful. Good work!
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I know i've only read a couple of your poems but they are short and dont babble on about nothing (like mine do if i make them too long) and i like short poems. Nice work
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