About six months ago,
I was upset.
I was so upset
I couldn't handle it.
And so,
against all better judgement,
being totally hypocritical,
I dug the nail,
on my right hand thumb,
hard into my left wrist,
scratching,
until I bled.
I purely did it,
to think about something else.
Anything else.
Until then,
I had not understood.
It healed quickly,
nobody noticed,
I told no one.
I didn't hurt myself again,
for another 6 months,
until a week ago,
I was upset.
I was so upset
I couldn't handle it.
I dug the nail,
on my right hand thumb,
hard into my left wrist,
a little harder then intended,
it didn't hurt,
though the next day,
there was a cut across my wrist.
A reminder,
something to hide,
something to worry me.
I told the two people
I love most in the world,
my two best friends,
and I swore I would not again.
But then the other night,
I was upset.
I was so upset
I couldn't handle it.
And this time,
reaching for the scissors,
tried to cut,
along my leg.
Fortunately,
the blades were blunt,
and inflicted nothing
but a few scratches on the surface.
Before standing,
to find something sharper,
I looked at my hands,
holding the scissors,
and at the faint scratches
on my leg,
and I realised,
that this was not what to do.
I put the scissors
on the other side of the room,
and got into bed
and went to sleep.
You don't understand,
why people would do it,
until you have the urge
to do it yourself.
Last night,
I was upset.
I was so upset
I couldn't handle it.
And so I went,
to the kitchen,
to find something
sharper.
To pick up a knife,
makes me shake.
But the kitchen scissors,
were just there.
So once again,
I weekly tried,
to go over the cuts,
that were unsuccessful
on my leg.
Once again,
the scissors were blunt,
and I stopped myself,
before I could do any more.
It is so hard to understand,
for everyone else,
but I really don't want
to try do it again.
I promise to myself,
that from this moment on,
I will do right by myself,
I will respect myself,
I will be faithful to myself.
And so when
I am upset.
I am so upset
I cant handle it,
I will go to those I love,
and sort out what is wrong,
not take the easy option out.
Bronze trophy winner
Honorable mention
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