I was diagnosed with OCD when I was 10.
I am still very young, but I've learned to deal with it.
At least I have a therapist, he helps me through the long journey of getting better and understanding exactly what is going on in my brain.
OCD stands for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. It is when you can be obsessive over numerous things: Whether it's washing your hands, or counting the flowers on the wall in your room. For me, it's more counting than acting. Sometimes I HAVE to cross the road before a car comes or my mom will die in a car crash. Sometimes these Compulsive ideas I get are dangerous, but I don't want my mom to die, so I need to do it. What I work on with my therapist is to how to tell my brain my mom is NOT going to die and running across the road for no apparent reason is stupid. But that's hard, especially if the person has been living with it for a long time.
Things you might notice if you have OCD is counting things or, like I said, needing to do this or something bad will happen. Basically, I have to do this or else there will be horrible consequences, which very often have nothing to do with what you're doing. For example, I might have to wash my hands five times or else my dog will break its leg. You may also notice a lot of your time is being taken to do unnecessary things, as checking the door over and over to see if it's really locked. No... I don't think I really looked all the way, I should check again.
For me, I didn't even know what OCD was when I was explaining it to my therapist. I told him everything I "HAD" to do and how much time was being taken to do stupid things. He asked me to give a few examples and he came to a conclusion. It didn't take long.
"I think I know what it is... It's called OCD."
The first thing I noticed that was odd was the counting. This part is very hard to explain and not even my best friends understand. It's sort of a thing in my head. I would have to do something three times, then two times, then one time, and then one time again. I guess I had to do this so it looked like a pyramid. Here is an example:
333
22
1
1
So, that is what I was imagining in my head. No one really understands but me. But that is another symptom of OCD, you may think about things that you "HAVE" to do and no one really understands.
When I was ages 5-10 I was abused by my step father, but I am not going into details. My therapist told me that might be one of the reasons I have OCD. The side effects are often depression and anxiety. Another reason that might contribute to the OCD is when my mother was pregnant with me I was going to be premature. They gave her I think, 16 shots of steroids for me. Right now the legal limit is 3 shots, so it was very bad for me, but no one knew it then. The side effects from the steroids were OCD, being talkative, and hyperactivity.
There are lots of things you may do because of OCD. It may be counting things or running across the street. But if you check the door and see it's locked and do that over and over and over just to make sure, it means there's a chemical imbalance in your brain. This, too, is hard to explain without a pencil and paper. When you check to see that the door is locked and you conclude that it is, the chemicals in your brain go through to tell you it is locked. But if you have OCD, only part of the chemicals go through, and the rest of the chemicals stay so you don't completely get the message that it is shut. I usually check and then I have to trust myself that it is shut because I'm not sure if it's my OCD or something true that my brain is telling me. This, at times, can be very confusing.
I mostly have to deal with this with my therapist and myself. He recommended I take OCD pills. There is no certain pill for OCD, and it is not curable. If you get rid of it, it can come back any day unless you keep it away. But there is two kinds of pills that I can take to help. They are depression pills and anxiety pills. That would get rid of half of the OCD. The rest I would have to work on myself. But, luckily, I could trust that I wouldn't be anxious and I wouldn't be depressed, so those symptoms wouldn't get in the way.
I am still in the battle of fighting my OCD, and it is going to be lifelong. What I do to keep myself encouraged is to remember I can achieve anything if I put my brain to it, whether I have a chemical imbalance or not!
I hope you learned some things about OCD and how to identify it. If you think you might have it you should consult a doctor right away. The worse it gets, the harder you have to work to get it away.
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
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great column
