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Midnights Walk On Neon Streets

Midnight Walks On Neon Streets


Midnight walks on neon streets
As it filters through the cold
The streets are silent in the night
The darkness gets to bold

Sleeping children rest in peace
Pray that the sun will soon rise
For to stay sleeping in this dissolute place…
Please open your small eyes

Midnight walks on neon streets
The light is dull and fake
Darkness covers this cold world
Hope and dreams and life it takes

Midnight walks on neon streets
But its not midnights fault
It did not choose to be the one
To see this darkest cult

The doubt and cold of darkness
Surrounds children when they sleep
It starts to tug on their bright dreams
Letting darkness seep in deep

Midnight walks on neon streets
With darkness close behind
There is a tense companionship
As darkness quietly asks the time

Darkness leaves the neon streets
And midnight softly sighs
Darkness lays down to rest
And watch small children with dark eyes

Midnight stops on neon streets
As his last seconds tick away
He feels the sleeping dreams of children
And hopes they keep the darkness at bay

The sun will wake up neon streets
The glow from the children will turn bright
But darkness will follow them close behind
And turn their dreams faded neon at night

Author notes

this is for "midnight walks on neon streets."
penname:capricorn2645

I tried to do this in the same style as my last poem...its actually kinda the opposite in a way, the last one was about hope in a dark world, and this one is more like doubt and darkness trying to take away the hope and dreams of children...in a way they fit together.....anyways i hope you enjoy it and thank you so much for letting me into the second round!

(p.s i also wrote one for "even blue skies burn sometimes" im not posting it here but i will add it if u want to read it also)

A contest entry

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Comments


  • Beauty Of Silence
    September 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    ooooh

    i think this is a pretty good one! i love the repetitions and the rhyme and your wording! you took this prompt to a whole new world, i love how you manipulated it! great job, i love this! keep penning, and thanks for the authors notes! >.<


  • transit
    September 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    ooo

    The imagery is awesome and the rhyme was brilliant! I felt myself being led through a story and it was compelling. The author's notes are helpful and the point of the poem is an interesting one in indeed.

    "Darkness leaves the neon streets
    And midnight softly sighs
    Darkness lays down to rest
    And watch small children with dark eyes"

    interesting lines. good luck in the contest!!

    loveees,
    transit!


  • checkmate
    September 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow. quite impressive take. enjoyed reading your author's notes!

    i love these lines:
    But darkness will follow them close behind
    And turn their dreams faded neon at night

    there is a great use of imagery here. the only thing i think could improve would be the flow. trim a few lines here and there, because at times, it seems as if this was forced rhyme.

    but other than that, this was perefct. painful to read, and definitely something you can't forget.

    thank you for entering

    s.
    -checkmate.


  • Walk-Free
    September 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    please credit the phrase to checkmate

    thanks for entering~

    I felt this was a good take on the prompt with some brilliant imagery.

    good job (: