Fantasies drive me blind
In their feeling of never was
Or never will be
The scent makes me wild
Makes me wish more than ever
That we were
Deep pounding ache in my chest
Forever agonizing over you
And everything that I ever want to be
Vanishes in a cloud of smoke
A deep breath is all it takes
To regain control
I come to my senses, forgetting
All that I shouldn't
The feelings come to pass
Everytime you pass me by
And I'm lost in every feeling
You ever make my heart ache with
Author notes
Option 001
You don't See Me
Not exactly sure if this is a really good poem... but... yeah... My poetry's not all that great lately.
A contest entry
- Anti-Gravity Love Song by Xombii.
600 points, ended September 20, 2008, 13 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
-
This is very good, very promising. I think if you paid more attention to punctuation and that sort of detail-oriented thing it would be bloody fantastic.
-
This is actually really good, though it seems to just end. Maybe a closing line that works well with the rest of the poem, or a period at the end XP
Other than that, this poem is lovely. It's full with emotions that just scream. So much love and pain in this piece, I can feel what you feel.
The scent makes me wild
Makes me wish more than ever
That we were
Those are my favourite lines.
Thank you for entering doll, this poem is lovely.
♥
Lish
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