My Suicide, 1 and 2

There are so many
People that i know
That just want
to see me to dangle neck first
From a tree
There's no love around
For my soul is
Just way too fucked up

My parents wish it
Classmates would want nothing more
Because of my wit
They're more than sure
That they don't need me

So many people
Morbid, obese or
Depressed horrendously
So many people are that way
But have no reason
To be unhappy
They still see the sun
The way its meant to be
As for me
A dark shadow
Follows me where I go
And if its shady out
It seems to rain
On the small parade
That i have,
walking alone

Today...
I was trying to get home
I was promised a ride home
By a "friend"
He let me down
But this is not
My first time
People constantly
Pick me up
Only with
Strong intent
Of dropping me back down

I've been dropped back down
By so many
I trust too much
Or people don't trust enough

If I were to go
There would be
Almost no one
At my funeral
Maybe my girlfriend
But that to
Is doubtful
Her parents don't like me
They wouldn't let her go
My friends...
I have none
My "parents"
would arrive at the end
Only long enough
To say...
"Good rid dens,
took you long enough
your finally dead!"
They'd just stay if any longer
Just to find out
The price of my coffin

I have not been loved
For many, many years
But today
Came the straw
That made me collapse

The only way
People would be sorry
Is if
I dangled neck first
From a tree
In obvious public
The only people to cry
Would be
The ones
Who did not know me
And maybe
Some of the people
Who took advantage of me

The next morning
Fireman cuts me down
From my tree
And sheds an honest tear
It plummets to the ground
And crashes into the grass,
Just standing there
A lonely tear
As I was a lonely person
Carrying me down the ladder
He takes off my back pack and looks inside

A hand written note
My suicide note
As well as all my poetry
In my binder
My suicide note explains all
Maybe too much
It tells people

"I don't want much
Now that I'm dead
Just to be appreciated
Unlike when i was alive
And a fitting tribute
Is for anyone who knew me
To be able to go around
The tree that I committed
The dirty deed ageist myself
And pray, to Alpha-Omega

I wouldn't want much more
Just for the rest of the year
For a couple poems
To be read a day
Over the loud speaker at school
To see the ruined person's thoughts
That once walked among them
For them to find others like me
And prevent this from happening again

As they couldn't take it
The area is so bare to death
It would devastate
All in which know me
And those who saw me
Those who had no clue i existed

I would've forgiven them
For ignoring me
For fearing me
In such a matter
As to lead me to this
My own death
By my own hands
I went through much
But it never prepared me
For high-school
I couldn't survive

The only thing
That would've stopped me
Is someones love
If someone loved me
For who I am
Not what I could be
As what they couldn't see
Is my past hindered me so much
At night it hurt me
The razor blade's bite
Without the scars
It hurts from the inside
I would've considered them
Before taking the plunge

On my tombstone what I want
It to say is everything it normally has
And then for a quote
"The stronger they are
The harder they fall to fall""