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the stuff you remember when you allow yourself to remember

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


yellowed sheer curtains hung dirty and angry
half in, half out of thick-paned windows; in a

tight cabin where even breeze forgets its purpose

 

you remember too, burly hands

and the stink of wet log; smothered beneath a canopy

                             of high fisted oak

and jesus shellacked there, his nose pressed to knotty pine

suspended over the low shoulder of some man's daybed

but mostly, when you think of it

 

you remember yourself;

a gilded beetle struggling flat on its back; lanky legs splayed

                                                               gawky

                                                               and open

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

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In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 39 of 39

  • nutmegg
    January 7, 2009

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    your poetry is better when you read it after not looking at it for awhile and realize how good it still is.


  • Puking Faerie Dust gold member
    November 24, 2008

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    I wish you had more poems I could love. Though, these ones will definitely do for now
    Not much else to say that hasn't already been said.. fantastic
    Jeanette*~


  • porksnorkel
    October 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I could swear I put some kind of comment on this one before. You probably deleted it because of its surely inanane character replete with sexual innuendo and immature blabbering.

    Anyway. I hate the title. I wouldn't click on it if I didn't know you. It forbodes a kind of geriatric, uterine-prolapse nostalgia which could easily be dismissed. Thankfully, what follows the title is sharp and elusive, like the scent of a wet log, I suppose. Where is that coming from?

    Angry curtains. Wind of some past transgression howling in unwelcome and pushing aside flimsy barriers. The hem of a yellow dress hissing on crisp hosiery. A smell like my grandmother's living room, furniture shiny with plastic covers.

    gawky and open; here comes that wet log


  • sailor ptolema
    October 2, 2008
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    this gave me a chill; so great, mary.


  • sheltered gold member
    September 27, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    fine lines
    of balanced imagery
    that kept me on my toes


  • cvillelisa
    September 25, 2008

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    I dunno ... seems like a rape. I might be all wrong but that is the "feeling" I get. Or at least sex somewhat against the will of the person on the floor.

    /dirty/angry/fisted/tight -- struggling. all not pleasant. but the poem also *reads* to me very quiet. as if the person couldn't speak up against what was happening.

    I'm not sure you need "as art" something about:

    and jesus there shellacked
    his nose pressed against knotty pine

    all sort of implies enough, I think. the shellacked being a heavy duty working adjective that just makes me think of decoupage stuff from the 70's -- christmas cards turned into kitchy vacation home art....

    disturbing scene - - oddly, I *smell* yellow after reading this. whatever that means (maybe it is the wet log that lead me there).

    forgive me if i read it *wrong* :| but that is where I went. Good luck in the contest!

    Lisa

    • Cat gold member
      September 25, 2008
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      lisa,

      thank you for the careful read.

      yes- as art needs to go.


      m


  • Rowan gold member
    September 22, 2008

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    Oh that ending. What a vision, a memory. And yes, Sepia colored and strikingly pale. I'm so glad you entered this Mary. What I like most about your work, is I can read it and appreciate it without having to sit for hours and ponder what the hell it means. I didn't find it obscure at all, but maybe because that's the way my mind works too. lol.
    Excellent entry, thanky.


  • secberm
    September 22, 2008

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    "...you remember yourself;
    a gilded beetle struggling flat on its back..."

    Like this lots. Write on, sis. Good luck.

    Dez


  • Jersene gold member
    September 20, 2008
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    I love your poetry


  • marc creamore
    September 20, 2008

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    Mary . . . an old yellowed photograph becomes animated in this piece, the last stanza painful, alive and poetically vibrant . . . LOVED IT!!

    Marc


  • jantastic gold member
    September 20, 2008
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    .


  • notorious gold member
    September 19, 2008

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    Love the title--it's too clever for even the word 'clever' to describe... But it'll have to do.

    I like that this is in the past tense because it feels like sepia memories or sepia mind...
    or just really good poetry.

    "thick paned"
    Hyphen?
    Unless you hate them
    or you don't think there needs to be one.
    I'm in love with hyphens.
    Er...don't ask.

    Me gusta the personification of the breeze in L3--it's so real I almost forgot it was personification.

    Coolio reference to jesus, and I love that his name is in lowercase [as is the rest of the poem ].

    "shellacked as art"<--sounds like sarcasm to me...love, love, love it.

    "you remember yourself" struck me as particularly poignant--like, how we all change...inevitable crap.

    Man, this was deep
    and I drowned in your words.



    Jessica!


    • Cat gold member
      September 19, 2008

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      wow.. what a thorough comment- much appreciated also

      yes thick-paned.

      thanks!

      Mary

  • Cinnarry gold member
    September 19, 2008
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    poetry


  • Night Hope gold member
    September 19, 2008

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    As always, an incredibly, deftly penned piece, my Friend. I have been "allowing myself to remember" quite a few things lately, since that I'm finally in my own place again. In some ways, it's a brand~new session of bereavement (without suppression, censorship or distortion); in others, there is joy. Thank you for sharing your Self with us, Sweetie. It really does matter, this level & depth of honesty. Good luck in Kathleen's contest, Scribe.

    • Cat gold member
      September 19, 2008
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      thank you for the careful read wanda...

  • Suzanne Dia
    September 19, 2008
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    I meant my comment was obscure, not your poem.

    • Cat gold member
      September 19, 2008
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      i think maybe the poem is too.

      you're a doll. thanks.


  • Nicolette gold member
    September 19, 2008

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    yellow reminds me of sepia and sepia of memory...so the colour is perfect here. great visuals and use of all the senses and those last lines, just powerful, Mary

    ~ Nicolette


    • Cat gold member
      September 19, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      yes, it's funny last night after i posted this i started thinking of memories and what color they are.. some are yellow.. this one is for me..
      but others are
      all sorts of other wonderful colors- my childhood outside is the brightest shades of blue and white

  • Suzanne Dia
    September 19, 2008

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    See, this is where memory is tricky, they aren't always pleasant, and worse yet (though, I don't think this applies here, exactly) they aren't always as pleasant as we recall.

    This reminds me of how often I try to describe what sunday feels like and why I hate it so much -- the stagnance of air - the way light doesn't scatter but seems to smear itself on walls instead...

    the way even the breeze stops short of refreshing.

    This is obscure, I'm sorry, I wish I could be clearer, but I never can with this feeling.

    Powerful writing, Mary.


  • zochit2me gold member
    September 19, 2008

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    memory is something you just cannot shut off, For if we could, there would be no poetry and then what would the world become.

    lovely M

    ♥Becky♥


  • Wandika gold member
    September 19, 2008
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    Quite a sight


  • iverbthenoun
    September 19, 2008
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  • -ButterflyCuts-
    September 19, 2008

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    Urgh this is so well written..
    By using the unpopular image of a beetle you make it even more horrifying.

    This is one of my favourites of yours..


  • AJ Morelli gold member
    September 18, 2008

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    I love this... the mechanics of memory is one of my favorite topics and you have captured it wonderfully here, the images, especially the ability to recall scent... and the closing image is just perfect, powerful metaphor that delivers a strong emotional impact...

    this is outstanding


    al


  • tara wilson gold member
    September 18, 2008

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    this is so amazing...I love it, the imagery/remembrances tie in so well with the title, as always, excellent poetry and a pleasure it is to read your work..


  • Peteskid gold member
    September 18, 2008

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    ahh...the yellows here are in the place and in the things remembered, a wonderful golden moment here...PK


  • Cannonsfire
    September 18, 2008

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    awkward child, tempestuous teenager...woman and all it encompasses...you are you I am glad of that. C

    • Cat gold member
      September 19, 2008
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      what a lovely comment- thank you

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