Blindness lies here
among the stripped mountains
once lush forest above buried treasures,
now shining copper and gold tones
where nothing grows and no vision is seen.
Machines thrived on the death of it all
and the stench of dead hopes
fall upon the broken places.
What insight or delusion
can live in the sight of children
who inherit the eyes of blind men;
mountains torn open;
farms lay to waste;
and the rich walk away
with laughter and fat wallets
never looking back
on the broken down
backs of the helpless.
In a list
A contest entry
- its crept up inside me by Ryno.
500 points, ended September 20, 2008, 6 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 29 of 29
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Awesome write
Certainally a golden write and congratulations
I love the take and how your thoughts shared, give the insight
to how man destroys ...
best wishes
Julie
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wow
thats a fine take on environment degradation......the comemrcializaion ahs taken its toll and made many prosperous and wealthy...but left millions starnded...stifled the air that future children are going to breathe...well done... aterrific poem which won gold.....visit me and read me dear -
Wow, what a powerful and meaningful poem. I see how you have woven both personal and societal issues together. That last line is like "thud!" in the pit of my stomach. Well done.
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You have such wonderful imagery within these lines. This is an amazing poem that makes the reader give pause to ponder over what you have written. Loved these lines:
'and the rich walk away
with laughter and fat wallets'
Thanks for sharing with me.
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My goodness...this is incredible.
The sentiment is one I've never really seen inside poetry before...stunning.
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Love it
Great work on earths pain. Oh so true. Which is not so great but its beautiful none the less.
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"Machines thrived on the death of it all
and the stench of dead hopes
fall upon the broken places."
i wonder if those fat cats know or care of the harm they're doing to our planet...will we soon be a place where we have to say "remember when" about things like clear water, trees, mountains, flowers...so sad to think that my kids great grandkids (possibly sooner) won't be able to chase lightening bugs or go swimming in the lake...sucks so bad...
great poem, though...great job with this...OF COURSE you won gold! -
Nickel pennies
a sting comes in the crack of the whip, yet all innocense does not succomb to the power of insolence. a dandy, built on the backs of copper hills and lost lunar charts. a sharp sense of cynicism - nothing wrong with that at all...
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Well deserving of the gold... And sadley verry true.
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congrats on the gold! Interesting write and thank you very much for entering my contest.
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Dam you are good dear just flat good and i must say your peotry is almost as beautiful as you are
i still remeber that pic of you -
Liked the flow of these lines, and the images they brought to mind. Easy to read and understand what you are describing here. Can be taken literally or metaphorically. Greedy foreigners take what they can from countries by exploiting cheap labor, returning very little, if anything back to the country, and not worrying about the environmental impact at all. All they want is money in the end - from natural resources that are hidden in the hills.
When will they ever stop?
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Powerful poem...Excellent!
Rich in language and emotion
Best of luck in the contest
Lynda
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Wow this strikes me as a poem about a third world country or a place that had been subject to development and people have been left homeless and helpless. A strong write that reaches out to the reader with the plea to do something...good luck in the contest.
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What insight or delusion
can live in the sight of children
who inherit the eyes of blind men;
This was my favotire part of this poem I tend to agree with this poem thank you for entering -
The rapine of voraciouness that is exhibited by the greedy in their evergorging desire to accumulate more and more, disrupts the natural balance and forges on in the face of the needy. Leaving little but crumbs to be found at the table for those at the bottom of the ladder. Powerfully depicted metaphors paint this stark reality to vividly.
Well done and congrats on the first Gold and the many to follow!
Love,
Mouser
Sun and stars shine no brighter than you!
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Bah! You've torn at my heart!
I differently relate to this piece - and these feelings - both literally and in a metaphorical since.
All too often we see the world just crumble more and more - its like people are hungry kids eating this world, a cookie, and every piece of it! Licking their lips greedily, eh?
The power of your emotions laid solidly on the images ... just a perfecting touching of intensity.
A great piece. Thanks for the entry. -
Sad story told too often but well done and good imagery here Well done and good luck
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a brilliant poem sis you have painted true realitys of the world we live in today where the beauty of nature is being destroyed through greedyness of our world good luck in the contest sis take care
marina
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I do love someone who will stand up and say exactly what they think. I applaud you for that. Tremendously poignant and something that needs to be said more. Best to you in the contest
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I don't usually read much that is featured but this is a tremendous poem, and took me by surprise a bit. A real put down of those practises which contribute to the increse in desolate areas of our world and as you stated;"the rich walk away with laughter and fat wallets". I wonder how many of those fat wallets have been lightened by the world wide financial crisis that is current. Probably not enough of them.
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Fantastic
Every word brings to life a message of the actions of the uncaring. So well written. Hits the nail on the head. Great poem hun. Don
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so true, I pity the generation whose landscape is as barren as the one you describe. this work is concise and vivid, and sadly foreshadows our planet's future. well done
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Raw and powerful, more so because it is true. The last stanza is the most painfully exquisite to me. It's happened before and will again. Marvelous word choice.
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Outstanding!
so much nice stuff going on here...such a lament and a warning set forth with power and vision...
machines thrived on the death of it all....I fear the machines may thrive on our death too..
very unique and memorable...just the result I seek in my own work..
bravo!!
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We really just don't get it, we really are destroying our planet. Money will not satisfy our hunger when our bellies are empty or quench our thirst when there is no clean water.
We are digging our furture grandchildren's and great grandchildren's graves.
Excellent write. -
"What insight or vision
can live in the sight of children
who inherit the eyes of blind men;"
Such thought provoking words here, deep imagery too.
Well done to you
Juls
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Excellent
Wow, I can relate. Vivid imagery; and you've expressed your self quite well. This write reminded me of one which I wrote called "The Homeless", it's in my Homeless List of course. A link to the list, in a moment: http://allpoetry.com/list/57521-Homelessness -
SO VERY SAD!!!
The world is a very greedy place, people seem to believe in only the money, the financial gain, lost is their heart and soul.
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