I. shock and denial
life becomes death.
air becomes water.
i am swallowed by the arctic ocean,
locked in an icy shell,
rendered numb--
prickling needles
fade into silk.
my skin is raw,
i am pure energy,
i am stasis.
'gone' is not a word.
you can't have stopped breathing.
II. pain and guilt
at the crux of my existence,
ghosts of never-given touches
rust into barnacles
that tear and claw my heart.
face-down on my bed,
tears make oceans of my pillows
and God drives nails into my spine
as i scream into an endless echo--
i should have been there.
i could have saved you.
III. anger and bargaining
i pull ribbons of profanity from my lips--
no censorship,
a bitter stew of memories,
lilies covered in tar.
i am rooted to dry sand
and the thousands of vanished promises
that have been lost
to asphyxiation.
fuck you--
please, bring him back,
i'll never cough up sin again.
IV. depression and reflection
i make an offering of sage and violet
and watch as the smoke curls,
marrying the air;
i watch as the ashes
smolder and die.
intravenously, they feed me metaphors;
it's the only way i can live,
a single amoeba
floating in the outer reaches of space,
heading toward a black hole.
my necklace charm cuts into my palm.
stars,
just focus on the stars.
pull yourself toward the stars.
V. upward turn
a whisper lands on my ear like dust;
a watercolor voice from beyond the veil,
hollow yet entirely whole.
you left a rope for me to grab onto.
i'll be with you always.
follow the stars.
VI. reconstruction and working through
slowly, i begin to build.
i pull the nails from my skin
and hammer them into poetry.
i go down to the garage
and build a novel from wood scraps,
photos, and wisps of song.
on the way,
i patch myself up
with solder and memories.
VII. acceptance and hope
just when summer begins to wane,
i finally feel the sun again;
sitting on my rooftop,
i sing:
barukh atah adonai eloheinu ha-olam.
Author notes
"Barukh atah Adonai Eloheinu ha-olam" --Hebrew, "Blessed are You, Lord our God, Ruler of the Universe" ...Jewish prayer.
for evidently's contest: option 5-- Santa Maria Nascenta. It reminded me of death.
for DirtyLittlePrincess' contest: option 1. About me: I am addicted to genealogy, gyros, hockey, and Led Zeppelin.
A contest entry
- Options by evidently.
1000 points, ended September 19, 2008, 10 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Click. Now. You know you want to. ;) Click Click my contest :P by Jaffa-.
460 points, ended December 7, 2008, 44 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
rip it
Comments
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Tis beautifully sad, but uplifting in the end. Amazingly done~ You totally deserved your golds. [:
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I really liked this. It was really amazing. The stages were really great and son well explained. Well done and good luck!
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Wow ... I don't know what to say that can do this justice. So sad ... so true ... such an incredible piece. A well-deserved gold.
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Brilliant
This is definitely deserving of a grand and some metal! Seriously... so vivid and descriptive--as far as my experiences measure up--of the process we all have to go through in the shadow of death. I absolutely adore this.
Kudos.
Kelsey-Jo
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