(I)
this is a mistake that had only one cause and that was me,
it turned in to a desert when i jumped in it, that was the sea,
i was forced to live on my mistake couldn't even die,
when i wanted to leave my vocabulary was dangling; there was no bye,
something must happen something must break,
my soul is the only thing left for you to take,
may be like a law or just foundation of my being,
this is the romance of life taken in without much saying,
(FISHERMAN)
"without much saying"huh? what about all you said what were they for?
you dont sound that convincing what if she comes back for more,
taken by this night under the moon trying to drown yourself in rum,
if she loved truly you wouldn't feel it because of that damn rum,
(I)
something must happen like you suggested: what if she comes?
maybe i can't do the math but our needs are greater then our sums!
fisherman your pronze thinks of you more than she does of me,
only one who remembers me is me its not i because i is more singular than me,
(FISHERMAN)
you are not making sense! me and i are the same, after all you just blame,
you can say all you want, rights and lefts and ups and downs in this game,
yes you are right mistakes were made but life is not a test you wont fail the class,
after all you are a human son not with-in clay and with-out brass,
(I)
i am at a point where using words with more than one letter to describe myself is an accomplishment,
when i think about it it makes me laugh, it is like this isn't about love but just a bloody experiment,
in which three things are used: to emote, to imagine, and to cry,
ever since my mind and heart keep repeating "it was i..." it was i..." "it was i..."
(FISHERMAN)
something must happen, someone must stop you from this madness,
to me it seems like she forgot all about kindness and forgiveness,
is it not a waste to do this son? to take life? your own life!
i should tell you about the woman i call wife......
(THE NARRATOR/THIRD PERSON)
he pulled the trigger and his life disappered just as fast as the
single bullet he saved for i,
the fisherman didnt even have a chance to say bye,
one bullet ended one i and one love and one life and one last conversation,
and the lover couldn't tell if this act caused any satisfaction.
Author notes
this is a poem that starts with first person that later becomes a conversation between me and a fisherman and the last stanza is read by third person view.
for the ones who love to listen to instrumental while reading: i strongly suggest "La Serenissima" by: Loreena McKennitt
it is absolutely fantastic.
In a list
A contest entry
- *~* Enter And You Wont Regret! Many Options *~* by Shannon62875.
320 points, ended October 14, 2008, 38 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Blow Me Away. by Dead Red Head.
400 points, ended November 5, 2008, 37 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - the biggest prewrite contest ever by serenity silvermoon.
900 points, ended January 18, 362 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Enter At Your Own Risk! Prewrites! by individuality.
1000 points, ended May 14, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Loved it.
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Wow! That's all I can say! Wow!
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a good piece, i like the characters here and the dark play along words - the bullet strikes. thanks for entering.
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How pathetic when people are so narrow minded that they can't understand the English language that they claim to speak, then reject those who can. I apologise for the comment underneath me.
Anyway, I found it lovely. I really appreciate it when people can properly execute the art of story telling.
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ok...
Wow... Once again... i wanst looking for a story.. im looking for some poems that i can understand... I dont really get these writes... if you have read some of mine i go by past experiences and something i have actually dealt with for most part... but this?>!!?!? I just dont get it... im sory..
Shannon*Leah -
Filled with emotion and sadness.
Well Done
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reading over in my mind
I've read this before an for sum reason less defined I keep reading this over in my mind. IT's not wordy and your rythm is just fine some how I can't speak the word's to describe my emotions inside.Thank's for sharing
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