rantings of the mind

Mind is spinning, thoughts sending me places I don’t wanna go memories surfacing tears being held back wanting to scream but knowing that I can’t wanting to let go but knowing I can’t wishing I could just let go of everything but knowing it wouldn’t help the weight of the world is crushing down on me I can’t breath I can’t think the world around me keeps spinning and all I want to do is stand still everyone always demanding of me everything is moving so fast I feel I can’t keep up with everything I can’t breath I can’t think I can’t see straight everyone dumping their problems on me never allowing me to deal with my own inside I’m screaming on the outside no one has a clue just wishing I could final have a break from everything whet I NEED is time to deal everything is just moving to fast wishing I could just break down and cry but never want to show my weak moments waiting for life to get better but it never happening but when hiding doesn’t work and everything is fighting back wanting to be let out and I am breaking down now know how to let go of how I feel my eyes stinging head pounding mind racing never allowing me to think in peace just wishing I could let go just let everything out but not knowing how to wishing that the screams inside would leave me alone I try to block out the memories but when I can’t block it out the flood gates open allowing everything to come to the surface wishing things would just go away wishing the worries and the pain would just go away to be left in peace wishing I could have my happiness that everyone keeps telling me I will find and if I am to search for it where am I to find it I am always looking but never finding it is as thou a thick cloud is blocking my vision, my hearing, my breathing as I listen to the problems of others I work with them to solve the problem but where is my outlet when do I get to dump my baggage